Rules of Engagement:Social Networking for Business…You “get it” (or do you?)

Written by on March 28, 2009 - 19 Comments
Categories: "Biz Soup"

I meet people every day who think they “get it”. Social networking, facebook for business, email, and the rest. It’s all a bit of a new “frontier”. Being “genuine and authentic” is all the rage. People nod their head when you talk about it, they believe they are doing it, they are even teaching it! But most really don’t!
The truth is, the fundamental philosophy of it all is just that…a philosophy, a belief system, a way of being. Authenticity is about being who you really are, and being sincere and real. The “rules of engagement” in social media say that you don’t “spam” and you don’t “push”. You are developing relationships. It’s about giving to others and accepting their gifts. People are always asking me “am I allowed to…”

Here’s the deal…it’s not about pushing the envelope of what’s “allowed”, it’s not about pushing or even about what’s “allowed” at all. Social networking is about creating relationships. It’s about developing friendships, and getting to know people, and helping others and then doing business with them because you like them! It’s that simple! For many years in my real estate practice I followed the belief system and practice of NOT doing what everybody else in my industry (myself included) had been trained to do. Get the biggest “list” you can and get your name in front of them as many times as you could! Go to events & meet people & shove your business card at them. “Hi, nice to meet you, here’s my card! Now send me business!” Luckily, I learned that a small group of “raving fans” would send me more business, and better business than a huge group of strangers that I constantly had to “go after”. This concept has now become the “new way” and it’s called “social networking”.

Unfortunately, many people are still locked into that “old school” mentality, and are trying to apply it to social media. Sorry guys, that doesn’t work! I actually attended a class recently where the presenter actually instructed the attendees to use facebook and twitter to “get as many friends and followers as possible to drive them to your website”. I was horrified! In fact, I posted about it on twitter and the overwhelming response was that “she should be burned at the stake!” That WILL get a message to a lot of people! A really BAD one!

The truth is, many people believe that works because it “used to”. I’m not so sure how well it “used to” but it definitely doesn’t now! The reason the “new way” is so successful is because, well…the old way sucked! Hate that word, but it’s true. It ticked people off! AND as people become more accustomed to the “new way”, the old way will irritate them even more than it did before!

If this is you, read “Who Moved My Cheese”! Because your cheese has been moved my friend! If you keep going the same way looking for it, you will become one hungry little mouse!
Next, I highly recommend “The Go Giver”. Both are very short, easy reads (& the Go Giver will change your life!), and you CAN make the time to devote a few hours to creating a better life and more profitable business, can’t you?!

So what is the “new way” in a nutshell? How do you know if you’re doing something “the right way”?
The same way you’ve always known! The same way you have always treated your personal friends & family!

1. Ask yourself “Am I being a rainy day friend?”
In your personal life, how have you been taught to treat people? How do you treat a friend? Do you miss their last 3 parties and then show up at the 4th just long enough to drop off some brochures or flyers? Do you NEVER call or visit (read: post on their wall, ask them how they are, etc) and then “show up” only to post your latest sale or event? I have “friends” on facebook that NEVER post anything about anything except their flyers, biz blog posts, etc. Funny thing is, they used to be my friends! I used to like them! Now I see them as completely selfish, and self serving!

2. Ask yourself “does this benefit them or me? is this something that they would ask for if they knew to? does this have value to THEM?” Just because it’s important to you that the world read your press release, or new blog, doesn’t mean it has value to them! Just because they trusted you with their email address, or enough to “accept you as a friend”, doesn’t give you the right to shove stuff it in their space! Unless they want or need it and asked for it! If it’s not relevant to them, don’t send it! Many times we don’t think about it! I’ve had many people here ask me to “let them know” when I’m having another class on something. So I have emailed all of my “friends” when I scheduled a class. Then I realized that I had added some new friends that DIDN’T ask for that! So now I don’t do it!

3. Is this something that they would expect from me?
If I sign up for your newsletter on marketing for example, that doesn’t mean I want information on your next seminar, or your latest video, or your daughter’s jewelry party! I didn’t sign up for that! If it’s not what I anticipated when I “signed up”, don’t send it! If I am a “friend” (not a business associate) that you believe would really want to come to your party, mail me an invitation. That’s right! Snail mail! OR send me a direct personal email. Don’t blast me because it’s easy. If I am important to you, and you believe I will find what you are sending valuable, and you really want to help me, you will find it worth the time to send me a personal invitation. If you think that I would find it “weird” to receive a hand written invite from you in the mail, then I’m probably going to perceive your email as spam!

4. Use your blog for your message. Use twitter (it is a micro blog after all). Use your newsletter. Use a vehicle that people have the opportunity to “ask for”. If I follow you on twitter, or sign up for your newsletter or blogfeed, I have signed up to receive your information. Now make sure it’s relevant! If your blog is about marketing, make sure you post about marketing. If your twitter bio and posts tell me that you post about organic living, and I choose to follow you, then I “signed up for that”. Yes do post about your kids or dog or whatever is important to you. If you would talk to a friend about it, go ahead! If I sign up to “be your friend” because I think you’re pretty cool, you like stuff I like, talk about stuff I’m interested in, and you are a positive person and you suddenly stop being that person, and start posting only your next sale, speaking event, juice opportunity or whatever, just know, I can and will stop following!

5. If you’re thinking “But I don’t want friends! I want business!” Read the Go-Giver again! And remember, people buy what they want from whom they like! There are a million places to buy what you sell. Given the opportunity to buy it from a friend, they will. You get to choose whether it will be you!

Remember:
Ask yourself “how would this look in real life (offline)?”
The best way to have a friend is to be one!
Give first! Always!
Be anticipated, personal and relevant.

“those who are willing to change and learn will inherit the earth. Those who are not, will inherit a world that no longer exists!” ~Paul Martinelli

All of the above of course, is my “humble opinion”. Your comments are welcome and appreciated!

For more information or to learn more about how to use social networking for business, contact me here or at http://www.socostudio.biz. Take a class with us, or somewhere else!

 

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  • http://www.triangleb2b.com/ Michelle

    Hear hear! I post articles like this as well. The funny thing is (and the reason why I say it), I deliberately post mine in the middle of all the others that are being presented in the poorest fashion possible: give me money, come to my event, this product sucks but mine just happens to work wonders…you get the picture. And yet, the sales pitches disguised as friendly comments or blog posts or forum answers continue.

    I take every opportunity I can to help educate others as to a better and more profitable way of putting yourself out there, and I also share my own mistakes (we all had a first day on the job once). But you are so right, if you are locked into a money-stealing mentality (read: old school), then there is nothing the rest of us can really say to help you.

    I just hope that being a go-giver isn’t becoming a trend and thus people begin to engage in pull marketing simply because it’s the ‘in’ thing to do. But that’s where authenticity comes in to play–you can’t fake the mentality, only the actions.

  • http://www.triangleb2b.com Michelle

    Hear hear! I post articles like this as well. The funny thing is (and the reason why I say it), I deliberately post mine in the middle of all the others that are being presented in the poorest fashion possible: give me money, come to my event, this product sucks but mine just happens to work wonders…you get the picture. And yet, the sales pitches disguised as friendly comments or blog posts or forum answers continue.

    I take every opportunity I can to help educate others as to a better and more profitable way of putting yourself out there, and I also share my own mistakes (we all had a first day on the job once). But you are so right, if you are locked into a money-stealing mentality (read: old school), then there is nothing the rest of us can really say to help you.

    I just hope that being a go-giver isn’t becoming a trend and thus people begin to engage in pull marketing simply because it’s the ‘in’ thing to do. But that’s where authenticity comes in to play–you can’t fake the mentality, only the actions.

  • http://dandeliondayz.com/ Janel

    Good advice for just about anything in life!

  • http://dandeliondayz.com Janel

    Good advice for just about anything in life!

  • http://www.energysynergyharmony.com/ Dixie Gillaspie

    Heather – you are so on the mark here. I don’t teach social networking (no gurus here) but I do speak on networking and a networking strategy is always part of my coaching process. There may be no “rules” to networking or social networking either one but my philosophy – and what I share with audiences and clients – is that the desired OUTCOME of networking may be to sell but the ACTIVITY of networking is to build genuine and lasting relationships. You seldom begin a relationship with a sale. Social networking is no different – it is just a different tool set.

    To Michelle’s point – I have been teaching and coaching The Go-Giver (with the authors’ blessing) for over a year. I am seeing a lot of people suddenly proclaiming that they “get it” and that they can teach others to get it. I’ll be the first to say that after reading over 100 X and studying and creating materials I find something new every time I work with a new client. But if they can bring attention to the book people will create their own success from there so it’s all good.

    Thanks again, Heather, for the post and the conversation!

  • http://www.energysynergyharmony.com Dixie Gillaspie

    Heather – you are so on the mark here. I don’t teach social networking (no gurus here) but I do speak on networking and a networking strategy is always part of my coaching process. There may be no “rules” to networking or social networking either one but my philosophy – and what I share with audiences and clients – is that the desired OUTCOME of networking may be to sell but the ACTIVITY of networking is to build genuine and lasting relationships. You seldom begin a relationship with a sale. Social networking is no different – it is just a different tool set.

    To Michelle’s point – I have been teaching and coaching The Go-Giver (with the authors’ blessing) for over a year. I am seeing a lot of people suddenly proclaiming that they “get it” and that they can teach others to get it. I’ll be the first to say that after reading over 100 X and studying and creating materials I find something new every time I work with a new client. But if they can bring attention to the book people will create their own success from there so it’s all good.

    Thanks again, Heather, for the post and the conversation!

  • http://heathero.com/ HeatherO

    Thanks Dixie! I agree whole heartedly. You can’t really “teach” people some things. But you can help others see that there is a better way. If they have the right “heart” and purpose (which most do) it will make sense to them. For many, it’s just breaking bad habits & training! I too used to do the mass email thing. I just never really thought about it this way!
    As you know, I’m a huge fan of the go-giver. I would love to know more about how you teach it, and would love to see if there is a way that we could work together somehow. I believe in synergy and can only imagine how powerful ours could be! Thanks so much for your comment!

  • http://heathero.com HeatherO

    Thanks Dixie! I agree whole heartedly. You can’t really “teach” people some things. But you can help others see that there is a better way. If they have the right “heart” and purpose (which most do) it will make sense to them. For many, it’s just breaking bad habits & training! I too used to do the mass email thing. I just never really thought about it this way!
    As you know, I’m a huge fan of the go-giver. I would love to know more about how you teach it, and would love to see if there is a way that we could work together somehow. I believe in synergy and can only imagine how powerful ours could be! Thanks so much for your comment!

  • http://heathero.com/ HeatherO

    I think you said it best Michelle, you can’t “fake it”! But if you WANT to do the right thing, and you really come from a place of wanting to help, you will “get it” when you are presented with the perspective. We both know people who claim to teach/coach/train “authenticity. And there couldn’t be a stronger “vibe” of inauthenticity about them! People have to BE authentic, and then shown how they can BE that way, not DO it!
    thanks Michelle!

  • http://heathero.com HeatherO

    I think you said it best Michelle, you can’t “fake it”! But if you WANT to do the right thing, and you really come from a place of wanting to help, you will “get it” when you are presented with the perspective. We both know people who claim to teach/coach/train “authenticity. And there couldn’t be a stronger “vibe” of inauthenticity about them! People have to BE authentic, and then shown how they can BE that way, not DO it!
    thanks Michelle!

  • http://www.energysynergyharmony.com/ Dixie Gillaspie

    I’d like nothing better than to find a way to work together. I enjoy your spirit very much. I not only believe in synergy – it’s part of my “energy, synergy, harmony” tag line. Would love to find a good time for a phone call.

    Dix

  • http://www.energysynergyharmony.com Dixie Gillaspie

    I’d like nothing better than to find a way to work together. I enjoy your spirit very much. I not only believe in synergy – it’s part of my “energy, synergy, harmony” tag line. Would love to find a good time for a phone call.

    Dix

  • bonnie

    when i first saw this blog i was sure if i was on the write page but after reading down i new i was on the rite page. i have to say it is a great blog and some thing i have been saying for awhile now. get to know me first and be yourself than ask if you can send some thing or if i be interested. thanks so much for this blog

  • bonnie

    when i first saw this blog i was sure if i was on the write page but after reading down i new i was on the rite page. i have to say it is a great blog and some thing i have been saying for awhile now. get to know me first and be yourself than ask if you can send some thing or if i be interested. thanks so much for this blog

  • http://heathero.com/ HeatherO

    thanks Bonnie! Hopefully spreading the message will help others too! Often times people just need confidence that people will want what they have to offer.

  • http://heathero.com HeatherO

    thanks Bonnie! Hopefully spreading the message will help others too! Often times people just need confidence that people will want what they have to offer.

  • http://www.redheadmarketingblog.com/ Heidi Richards Mooney

    Heather, just wanted to stop by and check out your blog (and thank you for leaving a comment on mine). I am delighted I did. You and I think along the same lines and it is nice to see someone sharing the “how to’s” as opposed to theories on their blog.

    When you write you have something to say and I am delighted to learn from you.

    Wishing you a wonderful day… and then some,

    Heidi Richards Mooney, Author, Entrepreneur, Business Coach

  • http://www.redheadmarketingblog.com Heidi Richards Mooney

    Heather, just wanted to stop by and check out your blog (and thank you for leaving a comment on mine). I am delighted I did. You and I think along the same lines and it is nice to see someone sharing the “how to’s” as opposed to theories on their blog.

    When you write you have something to say and I am delighted to learn from you.

    Wishing you a wonderful day… and then some,

    Heidi Richards Mooney, Author, Entrepreneur, Business Coach

  • http://heathero.com/2010/01/top-5-good-soup-posts-of-2009/ HeatherO s Good Soup of Info, Stories and More to Feed Your Mind, Your Spirit, and Your Business » Top 5 Good Soup Posts of 2009

    [...] #5  Rules of Engagement & Authenticity [...]