HeatherO » HeatherO http://heathero.com Create Your Vision, Fulfill Your Purpose, Live Your Passion, and Share it With The World Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:25:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4349 Copyright © HeatherO 2010 heathero@heathero.com (HeatherO) heathero@heathero.com (HeatherO) posts http://heathero.com/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/powered_by_podpress.jpg HeatherO » HeatherO http://heathero.com 144 144 Create Your Vision, Fulfill Your Purpose, Live Your Passion, and Share it With The World HeatherO HeatherO heathero@heathero.com no no Invasion of The Hope Snatchers http://heathero.com/2010/07/invasion-of-the-hope-snatchers/ http://heathero.com/2010/07/invasion-of-the-hope-snatchers/#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:20:12 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1466

We all know people who some would call “pollyanna” and others that would be [kindly] labeled ‘negative nellies’. There are, of course a whole host of others in between (drama queens, Debbie downer, etc).

I fall on the higher end of the ‘positive’ spectrum, most of the time, but I didn’t used to. Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t just ‘born that way’ and the excuse ‘I was raised that way’ doesn’t fly too well with me either. I dispel both of those myths.

So why is it that some people are positive and some are negative?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first is awareness. Most positive people choose to be. Negative folks are often unaware that they are, or at least they believe that it is their circumstances, not ‘them’.

They are the ‘realistic people’…

They are the:

  • ‘you have to be prepared for the worst’ people,

  • the ‘don’t set yourself up for failure people’ and

  • the ‘that’s impossible’ people

…all rolled up into one. Unfortunately, those people live and breathe on this planet with the rest of us, and in order to preserve their belief that it’s all out of their control, they need to suck the rest of us into their stinking thinking. They aren’t necessarily aware in any way, they just know that the way they think is ‘the right way’ and even if it’s not, they don’t want to hear it.

They wrap themselves up in a blanket of ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ and loads of evidence to support their belief.

They are prepared, and they are not ‘kidding themselves’.

They are ruled by fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of hurt and sometimes, fear of taking responsibility.

The ‘reality’ is that there is more than enough evidence that supports the power of positive thinking. There is more than enough evidence to prove that the world is filled with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, those things are only visible to those who choose to see it. It is invisible to those who are convinced that it isn’t there.

So what do you do?

How do you protect yourself from the Hope Snatchers?

  1. First comes faith. In fact, this post should probably be called Invasion of the Faith Snatchers, but I didn’t want folks to get all tripped up on that word. For some that makes their head go off and imagine evangelicals and that isn’t what I mean at all. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in mankind, the world, etc. With faith there is hope and possibility. Without it?

  2. Smile and silently say to yourself “they are simply unaware” (thanks to Leslie Flowers for that mantra. I have worn it out! :)

  3. Choose whether to engage. In some cases, I think people need to be called out. If you know them well, believe that they just don’t realize how negative they are, or simply feel like you have to, call them on it. Do it nicely, but say something like “wow, did anything good happen today?” Or direct them to shift by saying something like “so what can you do about it?” Or, you can politely say something like “I understand your point of view, mine is a little different, but I can appreciate yours…”

  4. Tune OUT. More often than not, this may be the best way to go. As a friend of mine once pointed out “do you really think they are going to listen to you and say Oh my God! How could I have been so wrong all these years. I had no idea! Thank you for saving me!” So, tuning them out will preserve your sanity and save you from pounding your head into the wall. Unless they are choosing to be in a conversation about the value of being positive, the moment in time that they are in full blown ‘realistic mode’ is probably not the time to try to change them. Nod, smile and sing “Over the rainbow” in your head until their lips stop moving.

  5. Detox. If you walk away and find that in spite of your best efforts, you were infected anyway (it is contagious afterall!), then immediately detox. Do NOT allow yourself to play it over and over in your head. Turn on some music, play a funny or inspiring video. For me the fastest way is to whip out a pen and start writing down all of the things that I am grateful for (which often includes not being like them:). Gratitude will edge out just about any negative emotion faster than anything else!

  6. Avoid. Then there is always the ‘avoid them’ approach. You can love them at a distance, without allowing them in your space. Now, I get some resistance to this one sometimes. People will say ‘but they need your help! they need you to lift them up!’. Some people are open to help, others are not. Sometimes you have to use your best judgement to figure out who is who. In either case, as I said before, if they are in a rant, they probably just want to wallow in it for the moment and that is not the best time. If you struggle yourself with being positive, it is even more important to avoid the Hope snatchers until you are stronger. Having a negative attitude is a habit. Don’t set yourself up if you are still trying to break it. You wouldn’t tell someone who is trying to quit smoking that they should go sit in a smoke filled bar and try to help the patrons quit!

  7. Meditate. I don’t mean you have to sit cross-legged and hum or anything, but closing your eyes and having a nice calm image in mind, or having a nice calming and affirming conversation with yourself while taking slow deep breaths really does help! You know how you would mentally calm yourself when kids would get on your last nerve? Yeah, do that.

  8. Create your own way. Lastly, create your own way. I have an imaginary ‘warrior’ that I jokingly call upon to kick the negative voices in my own head (hey, it makes me shift, makes me laugh. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). If you love to run, bike, sing, whatever, do that!

    Whatever you do, remember:

    • it IS a choice!

    • “Realistic” is a word used almost exclusively to suck the faith and hope and possibility out of anyone. Remember that there are millions of examples of “unrealistic possibilities” coming true! The lightbulb wasn’t realistic before it was invented, neither was the personal computer, the cell phone, a man walking on the moon…There are millions of people who survived when there was “0 chance”.

    • Happiness and hope are available to all of us. Don’t let anyone snatch yours!


    (and just in case you’re interested, I just ordered this button! Click on the picture to order yours :)

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/07/invasion-of-the-hope-snatchers/feed/ 0     Sales vs. Marketing… Bad Words? http://heathero.com/2010/07/sales-and-marketing-bad-definition/ http://heathero.com/2010/07/sales-and-marketing-bad-definition/#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:35:27 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1451


    When you are in business mode, marketing is a word that ‘speaks to you’. If you not, it also speaks to you…although maybe not in a good way.

    The words ‘marketing’ and ‘selling’ are now seemingly on the ‘bad words’ list, and perhaps rightfully so. We all know there are ‘those salespeople’ who give all a bad name. We have all been marketed to when we didn’t ask or want to be. We have TiVo’d our way out of commercials, “Do Not Call listed” our way out of cold calls. If someone knocks on our door we are likely to slam it in their face.

    Marketing and selling are not bad things. We all need stuff, and we need to know which stuff is better, and in some cases, we need a salesperson to help us buy it. The trouble is in the manner in which it is done. Sadly, the manner in which both are done have become ‘bad’. The intention is often bad, the definitions are often bad, and therefore the words are even “bad”.

    Sales vs. Marketing

    First let’s look at sales, or selling. The word selling comes from the Old English word “sellan” which means “to give”. If you read the current definitions however, you get things like:

    to persuade or induce (someone) to buy something: The salesman sold me on a more expensive model than I wanted.

    to persuade or induce someone to buy (something): The clerk really sold the shoes to me by flattery.

    If you think about the word ‘marketing’, it comes from back in the days when people purchased items ‘at the market’. In fact, if you check dictionary.com, NONE of the definitions are what most of us think of marketing to be. They refer to ‘the act of buying and selling of goods’. Even these descriptions from dictionary.com define it differently than many would:

    The activities of a company associated with buying and selling a product or service. It includes advertising, selling and delivering products to people

    Many people believe that marketing is just about advertising or sales. However, marketing is everything a company does to acquire customers and maintain a relationship with them

    Or, how about this explanation from Allbusiness.com:

    Theodore Levitt, onetime lecturer on business administration at the Harvard Business School, aptly described the difference between sales and marketing: “Selling focuses on the needs of the seller and the need to convert product to cash. Marketing focuses on the needs of the buyer and the need to satisfy the customer through the products produced.”

    To put it another way, it’s sales’ job to influence the customer to buy what the company has produced. It’s marketing’s job to influence the company to produce what the customer wants. Both are concerned with the customer but, while sales talks, marketing listens.

    “while sales talks, marketing listens…”

    When you are marketing, are you listening?

    Marketing focuses on the needs of the buyer and the need to satisfy the customer through the products produced

    Are you focused on the needs of the buyer, and the need to satisfy the customer?

    The truth is, if we had that focus, if we actually were marketing and selling as described above, they wouldn’t be bad words!

    Unfortunately, we have MADE them bad. Our intentions and words have created the perception and the aversion that many have to sales and marketing.

    Think about it. As Bob Burg, author of The Go-Giver and Endless Referrals points out, think about the term ‘sales pitch’. Think about baseball and what the intention of a ‘good pitch’ is? It’s striking the other guy out! It’s making the other guy lose, so that you can win!

    Think about marketing terminology:
    Tactics
    Strategy
    Targets

    That doesn’t sound like listening to and satisfying the needs of anybody. It sounds like war!

    Now don’t go getting all cranky because I said that, and you use those words. We all have, if we do any marketing at all. Those are the words of the industry, and we use them without a thought.
    (Just like we say “kill two birds with one stone” with no intention of kill anything ;)

    What I am suggesting is, that you give it all some thought. That you shift your focus from what everyone else says marketing is, or should be, from what you have thought sales is or isn’t, and consider how it used to be. Consider how it could be…

    Shift from ‘the way it’s always been’, or at least what you thought it was. Consider the points above:

    sellan = to give
    marketing = to listen

    I know it’s not the way that everybody else does it. But, do you want to be like everyone else, or do you want to be remarkable?

    (Need help with the shift? Contact me! I will be happy to help)

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/07/sales-and-marketing-bad-definition/feed/ 2     ComPassion http://heathero.com/2010/07/compassion/ http://heathero.com/2010/07/compassion/#comments Wed, 07 Jul 2010 04:01:06 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1410

    There are many definitions of the word compassion.

    Typically we think of empathy, or pity, or caring.

    For the purposes of this post however, simply break the word into it’s parts:

    Com (together) + Passion (any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling)

    How are you sharing passion together with others?

    Are you sharing in their passion?

    Are you sharing your passion with them?

    Passion is a powerful thing. It provides the fuel for what you do.

    COMpassion is like rocket fuel!

    When you share your passion, and share the passion of another, you truly add value to them and to you.

    How can you share in the passion of another today?

    Whether you sell widgets, or  provide a service to others, you can always connect with your passion, and connect with that of another.

    Being passionate about connecting with others, and caring about their passions builds relationships, and fulfills them and you. The value of that will often lead to monetary value,

    but it is ALWAYS priceless.

    Compassion and Business by HeatherO

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/07/compassion/feed/ 1 0:00 There are many definitions of the word compassion. Typically we think of empathy, or pity, or caring. For the purposes of this post however, simply break the ... There are many definitions of the word compassion. Typically we think of empathy, or pity, or caring. For the purposes of this post however, simply break the word into it's parts: Com (together) + Passion (any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling) How are you sharing passion together with others? Are you sharing in their passion? Are you sharing your passion with them? Passion is a powerful thing. It provides the fuel for what you do. COMpassion is like rocket fuel! When you share your passion, and share the passion of another, you truly add value to them and to you. How can you share in the passion of another today? Whether you sell widgets, or  provide a service to others, you can always connect with your passion, and connect with that of another. Being passionate about connecting with others, and caring about their passions builds relationships, and fulfills them and you. The value of that will often lead to monetary value, but it is ALWAYS priceless. Compassion and Business by HeatherO Daily OJ heathero@heathero.com no no     Forget About Will Power http://heathero.com/2010/06/forget-about-will-power/ http://heathero.com/2010/06/forget-about-will-power/#comments Mon, 14 Jun 2010 10:03:22 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1393

    Wordle: Life Goals

    How often have you thought or heard:

    “I just don’t have the will power…”

    Today I encourage you to forget about will power!

    What is will power anyway? The discipline needed to achieve something?

    Without motivation, there is no discipline!

    All too often, its not that you lack the will power. It’s just that the ‘thing’ you are trying to achieve doesn’t motivate you in and of itself.

    What motivates us is the ‘why’.

    Why do you want to lose weight, or make more money, or get 100 sales or whatever it is?

    If you want power, discover what I call, your “O power”.

    That is, the power that is the core of yOu!

    O Power = your core talents, gifts, passions, AND your Why!

    WHY Power is the power of knowing what really ‘juices’ you!

    What is your why? Or to put another way, what is your;

    Reason

    Purpose and

    Meaning?

    (it’s no accident that those 3 things = RPM!)

    Use a vision board, a screensaver, pictures, wordles (like the one above) to keep your focus on your WHY, and the WILL will come!

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/06/forget-about-will-power/feed/ 1     Don’t Hire Someone to do Your Social Media http://heathero.com/2010/06/dont-hire-someone-to-do-your-social-media/ http://heathero.com/2010/06/dont-hire-someone-to-do-your-social-media/#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:59:11 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1378

    Imagine this…

    You meet someone online who has the same sense of humor as you, is funny, witty and smart. You begin to think of them as a friend and when the time comes that you are in need of the service that they offer, you know that is who you want, because you really like and trust him (or her). So, you decide to meet in person at a coffee shop. When you arrive, that person has a completely different personality. They don’t have that same sense of humor, and when you start to talk about conversations you’ve had on twitter, you are met with a blank stare. You are confused…Why?



    Because that person had an imposter tweeting and facebooking for them!

    The person that you ‘knew, liked and trusted’ isn’t the person in front of you. It is someone that they hired to ‘do their social media’.

    How do you feel about them now? Do you like and trust them?

    Want to do business with them? Probably not!

    How would you feel if you met someone that you really liked and they said “I don’t really have time to date you right now, and I don’t want to waste my time until I know that you are worth it. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to have someone fill in for me OK?”

    It’s a common dilemma these days. Everyone wants ‘friends, fans, and followers’ because they want more CUSTOMERS. They “don’t have the time”, or ‘don’t want to’ do it themselves, so they hire someone. Afterall, that is what people have done in business forever right? You hire an assistant, a marketing person, or someone else to do the things that you don’t want to do. So, why not this?

    Because it ISN”T ABOUT ADVERTISING! (Yes I yelled that!:)

    Keyword = S O C I A L

    Think social NETWORKING instead of MEDIA. You NETWORK socially USING social MEDIA (as in mediums). Networking is a verb – it requires action!

    It’s about conversations, creating relationships and developing trust.

    We used to say “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. Now it’s more like Carrie Wilkerson says “it’s how much people feel like they know you”

    People won’t feel like they know you, if there’s a ghost tweeter behind that profile picture.

    So, what do you do?

    You don’t have time right?

    Consider this:

    No matter what you do, no matter how techie the world gets, there is STILL a human on the other side of that ‘buy button’.

    Consider that there is NOTHING more important in your business than interacting with your customers, clients or patients! Nothing!

    Yes, there are other things  that have to be done. The books, the inventory, the this the thats all have to happen. Hire THOSE things out! I am a big fan of outsourcing certain things. Virtual assistants are GREAT for allowing you the time to do what is important – Communicating with those that you serve!  Hire one to post events, even spell check and upload those blog posts, or pictures.***

    The voice, and conversation has to be YOU, if you want to reap the reward!

    We want to know who we are doing business with. We have MANY choices in who to do business with today. I can go to twitter and find 10 people that do just about anything in a matter of minutes! I will choose the one who engages with me, talks to me and who I feel connected to. Period.

    It’s not about quality or price anymore! Quality is virtually the same for most things except service these days, and someone will always be cheaper (and you get what you pay for anyway!).

    • Stop focusing there.
    • You are the only you! NO one can compete at being you.
    • Be you, let it show and show up!
    • Talk to us, don’t SELL to us.
    • If you want us to make the time for you, make the time for us!
    • Connecting with us has to matter to you, or you won’t matter to us!

    If you have a larger company than one or two people, consider hiring someone to help you set up your accounts, develop a strategy and create a plan that allows everyone who comes in contact with customers, clients or patients to participate! Have them tweet and post to facebook using their initials. This way you are being authentic in who is ‘talking’, and folks get to know your entire staff! They won’t feel ‘bait and switched”, they will feel like they already know the people that they will be in communication with, and the conversations can be richer and more frequent!

    Be authentic and upfront! Remember, to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy!

    For more about the importance of ‘voice’ in today’s market click here for

    It’s Not Just about Business Facebook Pages or Twitter or Blogs. It’s a Revolution

    Social Media is for Conversation, Not a Bulletin Board

    *** I personally recommend www.AssistantAngel.com for help with social media, and for many other tasks as well***

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/06/dont-hire-someone-to-do-your-social-media/feed/ 7     The Power of M and M’s and P’s http://heathero.com/2010/06/the-power-of-mms-and-ps/ http://heathero.com/2010/06/the-power-of-mms-and-ps/#comments Fri, 04 Jun 2010 03:03:42 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1358

    M and M’s and P’s are the key to a more fulfilling life and business!
    Listen to the power and importance of being clear in your purpose, passion, mission and message!

    Click here to listen!
    MMPs

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/06/the-power-of-mms-and-ps/feed/ 0     Will Facebook Make Friends Happier with New Privacy Controls? http://heathero.com/2010/05/will-facebook-make-friends-happier-with-new-privacy-controls/ http://heathero.com/2010/05/will-facebook-make-friends-happier-with-new-privacy-controls/#comments Wed, 26 May 2010 21:09:49 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1323

    Facebook and it’s CEO, Mark Zuckerberg haven’t made ‘friends’ very happy lately with recent changes that dramatically changed privacy in the social network.

    Facebook has now announced new and improved privacy settings as well as a more user friendly way to monitor and control your information.
    Or as it explained in the email that I received from facebook today:

    “Starting today, Facebook will:
    * Provide an easy-to-use “master” control that enables users to set who can see the content they share through Facebook. This enables users to choose, with just one click, the overall privacy level they’re comfortable with for the content they share on Facebook. Of course, users can still use all of the granular controls we’ve always offered, if they wish.
    * Significantly reduce the amount of information that must be visible to everyone on Facebook. Facebook will no longer require that users’ friends and connections are visible to everyone. Only Name, Profile Picture, Networks and Gender must be publicly available. Users can opt to make all other connections private.
    * Make it simple to control whether other applications and websites access any user information. While a majority of our users love Facebook apps and Facebook-enhanced websites, some may prefer not to share their information outside of Facebook. Users can now opt out with just one click.
”

    Check out the new settings here:

    http://www.facebook.com/privacy/explanation.php

    Read CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s Blog post on this here:

    http://blog.facebook.com/blog.php?post=391922327130

    Read more about facebook privacy, and MY thoughts on the topic here:

    http://heathero.com/2010/05/new-facebook-privacy-changes/

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/05/will-facebook-make-friends-happier-with-new-privacy-controls/feed/ 0     New Facebook Privacy Changes http://heathero.com/2010/05/new-facebook-privacy-changes/ http://heathero.com/2010/05/new-facebook-privacy-changes/#comments Wed, 26 May 2010 21:07:06 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1324

    Originally facebook was considered a ‘walled garden’. Information was largely restricted to those you had ‘friended’. Although for many this was a good thing, I personally felt that twitter had an advantage over facebook in that it allowed me to discover new people and make new friends that I never could have connected with via facebook (because I didn’t even know that they existed!).

    As facebook made strides to adapt it’s network to its increasing members, and to make it easier to find and share information that was of interest, it opened up new ‘channels’ that allowed people to see more of each other.

    As a result, privacy was reduced and for some that caused serious heartburn!

    It’s a double-edged sword so to speak. As I often say ‘when you block the bad, you also block the good”.  The opposite of course holds true too.

    I personally like the fact that I can see who ‘likes’ what pages and who became friends with whom (even though that was a major point of contention for many at the time of that change).

    If I see a friend ‘like’ a page that sounds interesting, I can check it out. If I see that 10 of my friends became friends with someone, I might want to know them too.

    The ability to ‘mention’ a friend (creating a link and not just their name) in a post was also a big step in helping people ‘meet new people’ as you can now easily click on the link and find out at least a little bit about them and decide whether you want to connect with them.

    Community pages were recently introduced (which I think few people even know about!) and while I won’t go into them here (stay tuned for future post), the ability to find others based on similar interests is great, and this is a great way to find them, but again, most people don’t want their posts being used to populate them (especially since they aren’t aware that they are and don’t realize that they’ve ‘given permission’).

    In any case, there are good and bad points in all of this. Ultimately I think we have to remember that the network belongs to facebook and they can choose how it works. Especially since it is free! (although I add that most of the place that I pay for service don’t let me choose either!)

    There are many other ways and places that the information on Facebook is ‘shared’. I encourage to be aware of them.

    I also encourage you to never consider ANYthing that you put on the internet to be ‘private’, and remember, it is  permanent!

    Read about recent changes to facebook privacy settings here

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/05/new-facebook-privacy-changes/feed/ 0     Maintaining Focus http://heathero.com/2010/05/maintaining-focus/ http://heathero.com/2010/05/maintaining-focus/#comments Tue, 25 May 2010 03:18:00 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1318

    Ever have trouble figuring out what to do first? Or what to do next?

    Focus is one of the biggest challenges we ALL face!

    Click here to listen to my latest audio for a quick chat about that!

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/05/maintaining-focus/feed/ 0     Resisting Your Inner Gremlin http://heathero.com/2010/04/resisting-your-inner-gremlin/ http://heathero.com/2010/04/resisting-your-inner-gremlin/#comments Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:39:16 +0000 HeatherO http://heathero.com/?p=1281

    No More Gremlins!

    A lot of times we make our decisions based on our “inner gremlin”. That’s the voice inside you that says “you could”,  you can’t”,  “who do you think you are?”  etc., etc. We can all come up with the story that we want to to justify the things that we do, but make your choices based on what empowers you, not the voice that defeats you.

    ]]>     http://heathero.com/2010/04/resisting-your-inner-gremlin/feed/ 0