Whether you are in business,or a professional of any type, odds are you would like to have more money, more success, more fulfillment, etc. We are all typically looking to ‘fill our bucket’ with one or more of these at any given time.

The secret is: fill someone else’s bucket.

This metaphor comes from Tom Roth’s book “How Full is Your Bucket”, but the sentiment can be found in many books. It is a philosophy that has been around for a very long time.

Give more in value, and you will receive more in value, and become more valuable.

Yet, it is a topic that can never be covered enough. There are so many ways of looking at it, and thinking about it, and then of course there is embracing it and actually DOING it.

How many times do you meet someone at a networking event, or at lunch or at work and really talk to them? Really listen to what they are saying? How often do you leave there and immediately think “What or who do I know that could help them?”

Bob Burg, author of “ The Go-Giver” and “Go-Givers Sell More”, tells a story about meeting someone at a networking event. Bob asked him about what was going on in his world (I’m sure) and the man went on to tell him that his daughter had just graduated from college and was looking for a job. Bob asked what kind of job she was looking for (so that if he heard of something he could pass it along). Sure enough, Bob heard about a job and passed the information along, connecting the two together. He did so because he truly cared. He did so because he makes it a habit to serve other people however he can. He doesn’t do it expecting something in return. Bob was however a salesman at the time and that ‘social transaction’ ultimately led to millions of dollars in sales for him.

In Tim Sander’s great book “ Love is the Killer App”, he talks about sharing our intangibles: knowledge, network and compassion. Bob’s story is a great example of how to share those “intangibles”.

You don’t know where those connections or acts might lead. You can’t ‘give to get’.

The important thing to know however is, whether you are in business, in sales, or employed, or whether you are the CEO of your household, you never know where any connection might lead. You aren’t here just to consume. You are here to give and those who give will ultimately receive. And what they receive isn’t just money, it is fulfillment, and satisfaction, and opportunities, and friendships, and love and so much more. It is all of those things that ‘fill your bucket

Thank you for commenting and sharing with your friends! :)

When we talk about value, we often think of getting more for your money. In business we may think of increasing our value as increasing our income, or improving the product or service that we sell.

There are many places and people talking about value differently. In “Love is the killer app”, Tim Sanders talks about ‘biz luv’, and defines it as
“the act of intelligently and sensibly sharing your intangibles with your bizpartners”.
He defines the intangibles as: your knowledge, your network, and your compassion (there’s that word again:).

He refers to ‘bizpartners’ as every person in your work life. From customers, to bosses, to competitors.

What I am talking about is adding value to others as people. Not even JUST people in your work life, but all people. Afterall, it is a small world. Do you really know who will or won’t be a customer or referrer one day?

Adding value to all people, is about listening to what matters to them, and helping them in ways that don’t have anything to do with what you sell. As I discussed in my post on compassion, it is about sharing in what matters to them and contributing in some way.

Sanders talks about knowledge and the need for all of us to be continuously learning and reading in order to stay relevant in today’s world. We can no longer expect to go to college, get a degree and work at the same job for 30years. For that reason, we can no longer expect to get by on the knowledge that we acquired back in college, or expect to thrive in business with only a few friends or connections. Whether we are entrepreneurs or employees, we won’t get very far with a ‘gimme gimme gimme’ mentality.

In this economy or any other, you can’t absolutely count on one thing:
the more you share the love, and the more people you share it with, the greater your value. If you go through life “filling the buckets” of others, you will inherently fill your own.
I’m not suggesting that you ‘give to get’. I am suggesting however that you aren’t ‘spending’ your time and energy just ‘giving away’ value. The value that you give serves others, but it fulfills you as well. And when that day comes when you need an introduction, or a recommendation, or a job, or a favor, or a [fill in the blank], you can’t run around and start filling buckets then. You can’t create relationships to serve you when you need them.

Look at BP and the oil spill as an example. For years they have been working on alternative fuel initiatives. Had they been using social media, engaging and adding value to those who were interested, they could have had an avid, loyal following. They could have had a ‘tribe’ of people defending them. Obviously the spill would have still existed, but they would have had a tribe of people behind them who liked and trusted them.  Instead, they jumped on social media after the fact and ‘tried to make friends’. Didn’t work for them, won’t work for you.

So, I encourage you to ask yourself “How am I sharing the love? How can I share the love?”
Look for ways to shower others with love, and you will find them. When you bump into someone at the grocery store and they mention how hard it is sending their kids off to college, go home and send them an article or book on how to handle that. When someone mentions that they are struggling with their website, or blog, introduce them to someone who can help. If you notice someone with a problem on twitter, and you know of a website or person that could help them, jump in and offer them that information.

It isn’t hard. It simply takes some conscious effort until it becomes a habit.

You remember to brush your teeth everyday, you find the time to shower, why not make the time to ‘shower others’ with love and compassion. Fill their buckets with value, and yours will overflow!

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Life is all about stories. The belief systems we carry with us every day are stories. Some we made up, some others did. Our life is a story. Our life story. We live it daily. Every experience we have, every laugh, every tear has a story. I often say branding is ‘how you show up everyday’. Yes, branding is simply telling a story. The people that you come in contact with every day have their own story. You have no idea what it is often times, but they have one. They have many. Marketing tells a story. It tells us what to expect, what the product or service will do for us, why we should buy, etc. Customer service people tell a story, and they create one at the same time. Every time you interact with another human being, your self, or the world around you, a story is created. I am often challenged when people ask me what I ‘do’. As a marketer, I know than I have to use words that people understand. Words that create an image for them that makes sense and that explains what I do. The truth is, what I want to say is “I help people create and share their own stories”. That is what I do. I am passionate about helping people to live and share their passion. I am passionate about helping people to communicate who they are and share their value. I am passionate about helping people to serve others in all that they do. Marketing, networking, and customer/client/patient interactions. Their stories matter. We love stories. The best books tell stories, the best speakers tell stories. We watch reality TV because we love a good “real” story. So, what does this mean to you?

• I encourage you to think about what your life story is. Think about what you want it to be. Think about the stories that already exist and how sharing them could serve the world.

• The next time you are on facebook, think about what story you could share that could help just one other person. Even if it’s just sharing some crazy thing you or your teen did that might just make someone else feel better knowing they aren’t ‘the only one’. The next time you encounter a customer, or client, or even a clerk who looks like they are having a bad day, ask your self ‘how can I make their story better’. Clearly they have one, you don’t know what it is, but how can you make it just a little bit better? Are you telling your self and your kids (or spouse) that they are terrible? That they are ‘bad’ or they never do anything right? (If you’ve decided that is the story, it will become their story!) When you are marketing your business, ask your self “am I saying what I want to say, or what they need to hear?” Are you trying to serve everyone in one paragraph? With millions of messages swirling around us every day, can they hear yours? You can’t serve them if they can’t hear you. Think about your story, and create one that serves those you want to serve by making it loud and clear. Think about how you show up to those around you. When you go to work each day do people look forward to seeing you? Or dread you coming? Think about those stories in your head

. You know, the ones that say “you can’t, you should, you never, you always…” Are they serving YOU? Ditch the stories that don’t serve you or anyone else! Create stories that do. It’s that simple.

Your creating and living your life story every day. In your personal life, your business life, your family life. Are you living the story that you want to? How can you make it better? Change it, Create new ones, and share them with the world You have amazing gifts, talents and passions. Are you using them? Are you sharing them? What’s your story?

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw this sign in the kitchen of a local pizza hut recently. Then, I saw one in a Taco Bell too!

They were both different, yet BOTH of them listed “Apologize” as one of the steps of the customer service process.

All I could think was “Wow! Talk about setting an intention or expectation!”

Nevermind the whole law of attraction thing, think about the message that sends ti everyone who works there!

“Yeah we’re just going to go ahead and expect that we’ll screwed something up from the get go!”

Incredible!

Compare that to the sign at Chick-fil-a in Apex (who has THE best service anywhere, EVERY time, hands down in my opinion!)

Now, let’s think about where each of these restaurants are positioned in their industry, and in customer satisfaction…

Do you think it is by accident that we associate Chick-fil-a with “great service and a great experience?”

When was the last time you said, “hey let’s go to taco bell or pizza hut! They’re service is always awesome! [or] their food is ALWAYS great!”     ???

It isn’t by luck or chance that results happen. Businesses and people aren’t accidentally remarkable. They set out to be. They set that intention, and then the expectation.

Great results occur because they are intended and expected!

Just as expecting to have something to apologize for will!

So ask yourself if you are being intentional. What expectations are you setting for yourself and others to live up to?

Whether it’s your kids, your staff, or your self, we will live up to our own expectations! If you call your kids ‘little monsters’, they will be. If you expect your staff to mess up, they will. If you expect stellar service and best efforts…

"Who do you think you are?"

How many times have we heard this question? (many of us still have flashbacks from hearing it as a kid!)

It has a negative association doesn’t it? Well have no fear! This post asks it in an entirely different way!.

What I am asking is who do you really think you are?

Do you think that you are ‘just a mom?’ or just a sales rep, or just a _____________?

What is your identity? You see most of us want more out of life. That is human nature. We dream about having this, or doing that. We think "if only…or someday…"

The truth is you have to BE before you can DO before you can HAVE.

Decide who you want to be, not just ‘what you do’.

For many of the folks that I work with think of themselves as ‘what they do’. They see themselves as ‘a massage therapist’ or ‘hair stylist’.

That is great – IF that is really what you want to be!

Is that all you want to be?

For many of these folks, they have goals of creating 6 figure businesses, and great wealth. I encourage them to ‘think bigger’ than just ‘being one thing’ based on what they ‘do’.

This is important for a variety of reasons.

1. You will never be more than you think you are.

2. as long as you see yourself as just a ___________. Your income will match your belief regarding what ‘that person’ can make.

3. When you affirm that is ‘all that you are’, you ensure that is what you will remain!

4. You limit the endless possibilities of other ways that you can utilize your skills and talents to serve the world and create prosperity for yourself, your family and those you choose to share it with.

(In other words, if you are an ‘accountant’ you can only BE an accountant, and earn as much as AN ACCOUNTANT vs. “ I am a business owner” or “I own an accounting firm”.)

I met someone a while back standing outside at an event.

As we all do out of habit, I asked "what do you do?"

he replied "well, I’m unemployed"

I smiled and said, "you don’t DO unemployed. What do you do?"

He looked really confused, so I added "what did you do when you weren’t unemployed?"

He replied that he "did tech support stuff" (hmmm…how empowering is that?)

So I responded "Are you good at it?"

He thought for a second and said "yes, I was"

I replied (smiling) "I would guess that you still are? I mean, you didn’t forget it all when you were laid off did you?"

He looked confused again, and then smiled and said "no, I guess I didn’t".

"So, you are a really good IT guy! You are not just an unemployed guy"

Still looking befuddled, he said "well, yeah I guess so"

Who you THINK you are MATTERS!

Focus on who you are and who you want to be, and be it!

Think about those goals and ask yourself "what do I have to BE to have and do those things?"

You open yourself up to other possibilities by changing the way that you think of who you are, and then finding others ways to DO what you want to do.

Think about how and who you want to serve.

Instead of "I’m a hair stylist" maybe you think of yourself as "someone who loves helping women look and feel their best".

Now you can be open to many many other ways to do that right? You may do that as a hair stylist, you may teach other women to become stylists, or teach women how to look and feel their best at home, or ?

Are you ‘a photographer’ or are you a successful business owner?

Think about how you are limiting yourself by the identity that you have created, and ask "how can I BE more than that?"

Choose to chunk those limitations and look for new possibilities TODAY!

Look for ways to share who you are and what you offer.

Look for opportunities to SHARE your talents and serve the world

(vs..’looking for business’ or ‘looking for a job’)

and watch the world up to you!

Ask yourself today how you can change ‘who you think you are?’

(Please comment! I would love to hear your thoughts!)

I often cringe when people ask me what I do. Not because I don’t know, but because it is challenging to articulate it in a way that people understand. “I help people create and share their story”, or “I help people connect the dots”, says it all to me, but not to everyone else.

Words matter, and using words that people understand is critical. Sometimes the best words aren’t the one’s I like best, but it’s not about me. If I want to help others, the first step is for them to find me, and to connect with what I do. If they don’t understand what I do, or if what I say doesn’t resonate with them, then we both miss out.

It’s no different in business relationships or personal ones. If you speak a different language than your teen, or spouse, you can’t expect them to understand you. You may want to get YOUR point across, but in order to do so, THEY must be able to receive it.

Perception is reality. This sounds cliché perhaps, but it is true. We cannot always know what experience or ‘lens’ will skew what we say and do, and therefore create a different perception than what we intended, but we can attempt to guess, or at least stop and think about how it may be received. We can also make the effort to speak a language that our audience can understand.

I had a conversation recently with someone who said “I don’t sugar coat things, it’s a waste of time. I just tell it like I see it”. That’s fine, except for the fact that he also said that he makes these comments to ‘help people’. If you want to help people (in this case, educate people), then doing so the way that “YOU” see it without doing it in a way that THEY can see it, is futile!

If you want to help English speaking people for example, saying your message in French doesn’t serve them. The message may be a good one. It may be accurate, and profound, and brilliant, but it will fall on deaf ears. You are wasting your breath. So remember, communication isn’t about YOU, it’s about the recipient. Instead of the golden rule: “Treat others the way that you would want to be treated”, apply the Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way that THEY want to be treated”, or in this case “Speak to others in the way that they want to be spoken to”.

“Who do you think you are talking to!?!”
Oh how I remember those words! When I was a kid I heard them often! Adapting words (and tone) to your audience requires thinking about who your audience is! Think about who your audience is, what context you are in, and what your purpose is. If your purpose is to ‘rile someone up’, then you can do that. If your purpose is to get someone to listen to you, and hear your point of view, you can do that too. It’s all in what you say AND how you say it! Despite our best efforts, we may not always come across as we hope to, but if we don’t even try we surely won’t.

Whether we’re talking about living your purpose through your business, using social media, or even branding, let’s face it, we want a sale.

Even if we are not ‘selling’ in that moment,  in terms of pushing a product or service, whether we are networking or socializing, the connection is there.  We are still often  ’selling’ ourselves,  or ‘selling’ our ideas.

People seem to think ‘selling’ is a bad word. It isn’t. It is necessary in more ways than I can count. Whether you are trying to get someone to buy from you, or your kids to clean their room, ‘selling’ is involved.

What we have forgotten however, is that the root word of ‘selling’ actually means to give.

(did you catch that? read it again. now keep reading…)

Yes, it means to give. It doesn’t mean give for free, give and never receive, or give to receive, it simply means to give. We may be compensated (and should be) for what we give our customers, but the point is that we are giving them something, something of value to them.
Rather than giving something of value to them to justify what they have paid us.

People seem to think ‘this whole give first, give value, thing’ is a new concept. It really isn’t.

Remember when you used to go somewhere and people would say
‘May I help you?’

Think about that…

They didn’t say
“How may I sell you today?”

They didn’t say
“pay me and I will give you something of value”

They didn’t say
“What can I get you to give me today?”

They didn’t say
“How can I help you so you’ll pay me today?”

They said “how may I help you today?”

Often times today the clerk doesn’t say anything! They simply stare at you and wait for you to order, but in any case, you rarely hear ‘how may I help you?’ anymore.

Obviously, it’s not about just saying the words. You can say it all day long, and if you don’t mean it, it will be apparent!

You really do have to do something. To give something.

I can’t tell you how often I see this in social networking, whether it’s on twitter or facebook or in person. Like the 9pm phone call I received from the direct salesperson who has never done more than hand me her card once, saying “Hi, I was calling to see if you wanted to schedule an appointment. I need to reach my quota for the week”.

You can’t tell the bank “pay me some interest and I’ll make a deposit”.
In relationships you don’t say ‘give me some love, and I’ll give you some back’.

It’s not about giving to receive. It’s about being compensated because you have given.

So, go out and try it! Look for opportunities today to say
“How may I help you today?” (and mean it!:)

I’d love to hear what happens!

We all hear a lot of voices on a daily bases. Many of them serve us, most us them to do not.

We hear the voices of the media, friends and family, business associates, clients, customers, and then there’s our own. All to often the voice that we hear the loudest is the one that says:

"you can’t do that! Who do you think you are? Why would anyone want you? Nobody’s going to buy that, pay for that, etc." And my all time favorite, "Be realistic!"

(Remember that nothing is ‘realistic’ before it happens! Electricity wasn’t realistic, the pc wasn’t realistic, equal rights, the ability to reach millions of people via a blog or video from your living room…)

I call that "inside’ voice my gremlin. We all have one!

The next time yours rears his ugly head, I encourage you to actively do something about it. Don’t just push it aside, or try not to hear it, take action!

Many of my coaching clients have a picture of my "O power girl" in their journals. She is there to remind them that those voices lie! And to actively stop them in their tracks. She is there at the waiting, ready to ‘kick that gremlins butt’ when he shows up! I encourage you to actively use this visual, create your own, or "bleep" that voice when it shows up! Write that nasty thought on a piece of paper and strike it out with a big red pen, or ball it up and throw it away!

It is a liar, and a thief. It is a dream killer, and a vampire that is holding you back and robbing you and the world of your full potential!

Remember, your car has all that it needs to somewhere. It has the power, the gas, etc. But it’s not going anywhere until you get in the driver’s seat, put it in gear, and step on the gas!

So, go kick some gremlin butt! Bleep as you need to, and step on the gas!

Enjoy the ride!

"Your income is determined by how many people you serve, and how well you serve them."

This is the third law of The Go-Giver: The Law of Compensation.

I actually read some variation of this law in no less than 3 different places this week! It has been written in many, many more, so let’s assume there’s some truth here!

One of the places that I read this put it this way, "If you aren’t making a millions dollars, it is simply because you aren’t serving enough people".

(Based on the law, I will add "assuming that you are serving them well!")

So there are two parts here:

1. How well are you serving? Is your mindset ‘how can I better serve others?’ Or "how can I sell more?" (remember, the word ‘sell’ comes from the word ‘sellan’ which means ‘to give’!)

2. How can you serve more people? Does this mean run out and advertise more? Yell louder? Nope. To serve more people, start by ‘knowing’ more people! This is about influence. About making a positive impact on the lives of others, and it starts with simply meeting new people and making new friends. Here are a few ideas to help you start TOday!

1. Visit your social networks, and look for people to introduce yourself to – online and off! Facebook? Look at your friends’ friends and become their friend!)

2. Visit your online networks, or your address book, and reach out to someone that you don’t know well. Simply say "I was thinking about you and wondered how you were doing" (if they came to mind, you WERE thinking about them!)

3. When you go into that restaurant, or drugstore, or office today, smile at the receptionist/clerk/hostess and say "Hi, I’m ___________, it’s a pleasure to meet you."

That’s it!

Make it fun!

How many people can you meet and/or reach today?

My goal is 10, what’s yours?

There’s a lot of talk about social media these days. Lots of people jump in, others are still ‘deciding whether they have time’.  Most see it as ‘another new thing’, and many see it as ‘one more thing they have to do or learn’.

There are lots of people out there teaching ‘how to’s’ and selling the latest greatest apps and tools to leverage social media without having to ‘do anything’ differently. People talk about ‘Personal Branding’ and all sorts of buzz words, but it’s really about YOU!

One of the first things that I do with clients is talk to them about their ‘story’. Who they are, why they do what they do, what their true purpose is, and passions are.

To learn facebook?

Yes, to learn facebook! You see it’s about more than facebook, or business fan pages, or twitter, or blogs, or logos or any of that. It’s about you…It’s about your voice, and what you are saying.

Social media is an incredibly powerful way to reach others so that we can serve them. It has truly leveled the playing field. But, it’s not just the latest greatest marketing channel, or fad. It’s not advertising, or business as usual in a new place. There is a lot more going on here. There is a lot more to it than websites and networks. The ‘place’ hasn’t just changed, the context has changed, the culture has changed, the message has changed, the audience has changed, the voice has changed…

(this is where I veer radically off course with all of those other social media folks, techy types, marketing people, and anything you might have learned in Business 101…buckle your seatbelt!)

We are living in a revolution…

First we had the industrial revolution. We had mass production, with it’s assembly lines of ‘don’t talk just do your job’, and then the Corporate world of, “Repeat after me: I will not have any ideas or voice of my own. I will wear a blue suit….”

So long to meeting the vendors on the street, and talking about their goods and services. So long to conversation.

We had mass media, and mass marketing. We had a few TV channels, and newspapers, etc. Entertainment was limited and if we wanted it, we had to endure the advertising. Since advertising was expensive, and only came in so many ‘channels’ it had to be very broad and vanilla and appeal to everybody. And if wanted to watch or listen, we had to hear it.

“So the customers who once looked you in the eye while hefting your wares in the market were transformed into consumers. In the words of industry analyst Jerry Michalski, ‘ a consumer was no more than a gullet whose only purpose in life is to gulp products and crap cash.’ The power swung so decisively to the supply side that ‘market’ became a verb: something you do to customers.”

Advertising and marketing aren’t a bad thing! We needed to know what was available. We wanted to know what our choices were.  We weren’t very well connected. If we had a ‘friend in the business’ we would choose them, but we simply didn’t know ‘one of everybody’ so for everything else, we relied on advertising and salespeople and hoped for the best.

The true definition of marketing is ‘what happens between the creation of the product and the sale.” The problem was ‘what was happening between the product and the sale’. Unfortunately, a lot of people abused us along the way. They lied, they interrupted, they spammed, cold called, screamed, etc. We got on the do not call list, celebrated the growing list of ‘spam filters’, got TIVO and so on.

At the same time we were getting sick of being lied to there, the internet was growing. Slowly and quietly at first. Limited to techy types, and then slowly reaching out into the homes of everyone everywhere. Then came easier ways to use it. Free blog sites, and social networks and so on. Now anyone could have a voice!  That grew slowly but surely and still does, every single day. Now, anyone who wants to can share their message with the world, and whoever wants to listen, can.

Adding to our frustration with the mass ‘everything’ mentality, and the corporate clones and robotic speak, along came the Enron’s and the Big Banks, and the big bailouts, etc. Now the word “Corporate’ became synonymous with crook (whether it should or not). 

We don’t like having marketing shoved down our throats, we don’t like the big voice-less Corporate Wall, and guess what? We don’t have to take it…

Blogs, Facebook, twitter, and other social mediums erupt…

We have a voice. All of us! As customers, clients, consumers, as entrepreneurs and business owners.

• We can choose what to listen to.
• We can choose from hundreds of TV channels and radio stations, etc.
• We can also choose from millions of blogs, and people having two way conversations about anything we could possibly want to talk about.

Now, because the quarantine on ‘voice’ has been lifted, we kind of like it! Now not only do we have many choices and no longer have to just pick “beaded or non-beaded jewelry’”, but we also get to hear the voice behind it. Kind of like the old days where you knew about the jewelry maker, or the shop owner. They had a personality! We like that. We are humans after-all, not robots.

As business owners, this is great news!  You don’t have to do a press release and pray that the media gods find you worthy. You don’t have to be able to afford crazy advertising prices, or buy lists of people to spam! You don’t have to ‘fake it til you make it!’

We truly can create not only a business that we love, but that customers will love, just by listening to the conversations, and choosing to let our personality show through. By putting YOU in your business, allowing those who like you, find you.

Whether online or off,  it’s kind of like a street fair…

A couple of years ago, we had a street fair here. It wasn’t organized by ‘committee’ and so without regulation, two different businesses gave two different hot dog vendors permission to park on their property during the event. They happened to be directly across the street from each other.

One was a guy from New York with a typical cart. He was cordial, but not what I’d call friendly (not here in the south anyway!). He sold a name brand hot dog with the usual condiments.

The other was a woman who although only barely 5ft tall, had a personality bigger than a sumo wrestler! She was fun loving and flamboyant. Her cart had a hot pink umbrella, hot pink drink coolers, and  homemade condiments. Her hot dogs were the same brand, and a few cents more in price.

What a great example of ‘pull vs. push’! No one chasing anyone down the street with flyers, or brochures, no screaming through bull horns. Everybody simply chose whichever one they wanted. The ‘personality’ that resonated with them! As people walked by, she cheerfully spoke, acknowledged the kids, laughed, etc. He sat on his stool and served hot dogs.

People did go to both. Some may have chosen his because they didn’t want to wait in line at hers, or maybe because they didn’t like hot pink and personality. Who knows! It didn’t take an accountant however to see what the market preferred! I don’t know how much of it was her personality, or how much was just having a personality, but not having one clearly wasn’t the winner!

So what’s the moral of the story?

• Create a business that you are passionate about (it’s more fun AND it will show!)
• Let it show! You will attract the customers that you are meant to serve.
• Let us hear your ‘voice’, and listen to ours. We like that.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts!