I was inspired this morning by an email that I received from Oprah.

No, not a personal email, I am on her ‘list’ but the content was very thought provoking and I wanted to share it…

On my way back from Africa, where I’ve spent the past week teaching my soon to be graduating 12th graders, everything I wish someone had told me before I graduated. I bow to teachers everywhere who care about their students, prepare the curriculum and do their own homework to make sure they are prepared. It’s a lot of work.

I received this email from one of my students today which makes it all worth it:

Mom Oprah I would like to thank you so much for the wonderful, exciting and mind blowing workshop on life and it’s ways. I thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to come to South Africa, far away from your home. I have learned so many life lessons that I surely will be taking along with me through the many years to come. The one lesson that I definitely learned was that “It is okay to make mistakes”. The reason it struck me so much is because I have had a shadow belief where I believed and told myself that I need to satisfy others and show them that I am good. What I did not realise along the way, is that I then stepped away from certain opportunities because I was too scared to take risks and to make mistakes and disappoint others. But after Life 101 I now know that IT IS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES. Another lesson that I learned is that other people will have their opinions about me and I will need to learn to give meaning to it or not.

Thanks M.
Wow, that warmed my heart.

That one email made the whole exhausting week to the bottom of Africa so worth the trip and rewarding. I’m not a good sleeper under normal circumstances. So my body does not adjust to time change well. So it’s been a sleepless week. I had meeting after meeting…then taught class in the late afternoon, so girls wouldn’t miss their regular classes.

Mistakes mean move in another direction. And other people’s opinions don’t define you. Finding the courage to create the life you say you believe in, building from strength to strength, not giving away your power, especially not doing stupid things in the name of pleasing other people. That was my focus for 12 graders…

For Lifeclass we’re moving on to even bigger lessons that speak to the power of the heart.

How not to be controlled by your ego. Letting Go of the past. Allowing the Truth of your life to set you free. Using your strength as a weapon against defeat. And Joy Rising moments that will remind you to feel and create your own… ~Oprah

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I woke up grumpy this morning. That doesn’t happen often, but it happened today. I won’t bore you with the list of reasons

If there is one thing that I know, it’s that NOT doing something about it will only set me up for a crummy, miserable day!

So, the first thing that I do is find some music to lift me up. I have a folder of songs saved on youtube for this very purpose.

Whether you wake up in a funk or not, it’s a great thing to have handy for “those days”.

What do YOU do to break the ‘funk’?

Here is what I’m listening to at the moment. Have a great day!

Settlin

 

Like so many others, I am in a bit of a somber mood this morning.

Remembering 9-11-2001

I remember sitting in a sales meeting at the Real Estate office that I worked in. Someone came in and said “a plane just hit the World Trade Center, you might want to turn on the news”. My sales manager looked confused and continued the meeting. A few minutes later someone else came in and said “you really need to turn on the news, they think it is a terrorist attack”. She finally turned on the TV and we all watched silently. I then noticed an elderly agent sobbing. I didn’t understand why for a moment. She said “I’ve already been through 2 wars, I can’t take another one”.  I don’t think any of us “got it” yet.

I left the office and raced home to get a little tv to take to work. I worked in a model home in a townhome community. I watched that little tv all day wanting nothing more than to leave and go pick up my boys and go home. I remember that evening standing beside my husband at the kitchen window watching them play in the backyard. There were tears in his eyes. It was only the second time I had ever seen him cry (before, or since).

We had a TV in our room at the time and we fell asleep with it on every night. I awoke every morning to the news showing horror story after horror story. I cried every morning for weeks.

As I look at my boys now, aged 12 and 14, I know they will never be able to appreciate or fully grasp how we feel about that day, or just how lucky we are.

The past 10 years seem to have flown by.

My cousin (one of my favorites) is getting ready to go to Afghanistan. He is a land mine expert in the reserves. Unlike many, he didn’t sign up for a free college education or job training. He is a college graduate with a great job as an engineer. He signed up because he wanted to do something for our country. I will pray for him, and be grateful for him and so many others every day.

• Today I will try to think of the best way to commemorate this day, and recognize it with my boys.
• I will also contemplate how fortunate we are and what my [our] obligation is.

We are so blessed to live in this free country, and to have those who are willing to fight for our freedom and protect it.

I believe it is my/our obligation to honor them. Not just on this day, but every day.

We can honor them by exercising our freedom. We have the freedom to be, do or have what we choose to.

We have the honor and ability to live our passion, and dreams and to make a difference.

What are your passions and dreams? How can you make a difference in this world?

Join me in thinking about that, and honoring them and our country by DOING SOMETHING!

I appreciate your thoughts and comments!

 

We all have those days (for some they become weeks, or years)…

I had a friend comment yesterday “Wow, you have really had a rough year!”

I replied, “Yep, and I’m excited because that means I have a really awesome one coming! I am ready!”

I couldn’t help but think of that this morning when I got up. My husband was up and getting ready to go meethis mom at the hospital for her chemo treatment. I will be going with my mom today and tomorrow for some ‘scary tests’.

This has truly been a crazy year! We have had a lot of ups & downs as everyone does, but this year has had more than it’s fair share of downs.

I am a ‘glass is half full kinda girl’ (I wasn’t always that way. It was a conscious decision), so I choose to believe that

is because I have had so many great ones!

In the meantime, I still ‘have my days’. I’m sure that you do too!

So what do you do?

1. Don’t “wallow in it”

2. Remember what my friend Kim says: “What you focus on grows!” Focus on what is good in your world, and on

the good that you hope is coming.

3. Do something that you LOVE to do! You deserve it! Take a few minutes every day to do something that you enjoy.

Whether it is going for a walk, or coloring, or whatever!

4. Journal! This can be very cathartic! Scott Ginsberg talks about starting every day “vomiting”. He writes everything

that is on his mind for 30 minutes or so, and then starts his day.

5. Crank up some feel good music! Music is very powerful! Tune in and turn it up! (you can start with my favorite below:)

Find what works for you! I keep a list of great quotes on my computer, and a youtube folder of videos that I can turn to.

Create whatever kind of ‘tool box’ you need to keep your head up and keep moving!

One of the most powerful things that I do that I would encourage everyone to do is to keep a gratitude journal.

I keep it by my bedside and NO MATTER WHAT, I write in it every night. At least 10 things! It’s amazing how your

whole world seems to change when you do it!

Whatever you do, remember that life is a gift and you are worthy of joy!

Enjoy the video (even if the music doesn’t make you smile, his outfit is sure to make you giggle:)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here is another one:

Click here to view the embedded video.

What do you do to lift your spirits? I would love to hear your ideas

 

Happy 2011!

Yes, it is a new year. A fresh start. For many this is exciting. For others, maybe not.

It is all in how you look at it!

I just read the headline of an article that read “The Pressure of a New Year”.

Instead of pressure, I will choose to focus on “The Power of a New Year”.

Instead of wallowing in what you didn’t do last year, or stressing about all that you want to do this year, just stop.

Stop and breathe.

As far as last year goes, all I can say is “There’s no cheese down that tube!”

We can’t go back. You CAN move forward!

Start by ditching “resolutions” as for many subconsciously there is a little voice saying that you won’t keep them anyway.

Instead make DECISIONS. Choose what you will DECIDE to do, and then do it.

Keep it simple!

What simple changes can you make that will improve your personal, family or business life?

What simple changes can you make that will make YOU better?

Be clear, and specific.

“I will lose weight, get healthy, get more organized, etc” won’t get you there!

“I will eat desserts only once a week, I will drink 64oz of water a day, I will walk 15min/day, etc” is the way to go. You can always ‘add on’ something later. But today, keep it simple and DO-able!

Decide how you will celebrate and honor your accomplishment at the end of the day, and then DO IT!

Now, write down 3 things (or less, not more!) that you will do TODAY and what you will do for yourself in return!

 

This is one of my all time favorite poems.

Live each day to the fullest, by SH Payer

I don’t read a lot of poetry, but this one has stayed with me, and lifted me up many times over the years.

I hope that it will do the same for you.

Live Each Day to the Fullest…

Live each day to the fullest.
Get the most from each hour, each day,
and each age of your life.
Then you can look forward with confidence.
and back without regrets.
S.H. Payer

Be yourself- but be your best self.
Dare to be different
and to follow your own star.

And don’t be afraid to be happy.
Enjoy what is beautiful.
Love with all your heart and soul.
Believe that those you love, love you.

Forget what you have done for your friends,
and remember what they have done for you.
Disregard what the world owes you, and
concentrate on what you owe the world.

When you are faced with decisions,
make that decision as wisely as possible
then forget it.
The moment of absolute certainty
never arrives.

And above all, remember that
God helps those who help themselves.
Act as if everything depended upon you,
and pray as if everything depended upon God.

 

We all know people who some would call “pollyanna” and others that would be [kindly] labeled ‘negative nellies’. There are, of course a whole host of others in between (drama queens, Debbie downer, etc).

I fall on the higher end of the ‘positive’ spectrum, most of the time, but I didn’t used to. Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t just ‘born that way’ and the excuse ‘I was raised that way’ doesn’t fly too well with me either. I dispel both of those myths.

So why is it that some people are positive and some are negative?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first is awareness. Most positive people choose to be. Negative folks are often unaware that they are, or at least they believe that it is their circumstances, not ‘them’.

They are the ‘realistic people’…

They are the:

• ‘you have to be prepared for the worst’ people,

• the ‘don’t set yourself up for failure people’ and

• the ‘that’s impossible’ people

…all rolled up into one. Unfortunately, those people live and breathe on this planet with the rest of us, and in order to preserve their belief that it’s all out of their control, they need to suck the rest of us into their stinking thinking. They aren’t necessarily aware in any way, they just know that the way they think is ‘the right way’ and even if it’s not, they don’t want to hear it.

They wrap themselves up in a blanket of ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ and loads of evidence to support their belief.

They are prepared, and they are not ‘kidding themselves’.

They are ruled by fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of hurt and sometimes, fear of taking responsibility.

The ‘reality’ is that there is more than enough evidence that supports the power of positive thinking. There is more than enough evidence to prove that the world is filled with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, those things are only visible to those who choose to see it. It is invisible to those who are convinced that it isn’t there.

So what do you do?

How do you protect yourself from the Hope Snatchers?

1. First comes faith. In fact, this post should probably be called Invasion of the Faith Snatchers, but I didn’t want folks to get all tripped up on that word. For some that makes their head go off and imagine evangelicals and that isn’t what I mean at all. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in mankind, the world, etc. With faith there is hope and possibility. Without it?

2. Smile and silently say to yourself “they are simply unaware” (thanks to Leslie Flowers for that mantra. I have worn it out!

3. Choose whether to engage. In some cases, I think people need to be called out. If you know them well, believe that they just don’t realize how negative they are, or simply feel like you have to, call them on it. Do it nicely, but say something like “wow, did anything good happen today?” Or direct them to shift by saying something like “so what can you do about it?” Or, you can politely say something like “I understand your point of view, mine is a little different, but I can appreciate yours…”

4. Tune OUT. More often than not, this may be the best way to go. As a friend of mine once pointed out “do you really think they are going to listen to you and say Oh my God! How could I have been so wrong all these years. I had no idea! Thank you for saving me!” So, tuning them out will preserve your sanity and save you from pounding your head into the wall. Unless they are choosing to be in a conversation about the value of being positive, the moment in time that they are in full blown ‘realistic mode’ is probably not the time to try to change them. Nod, smile and sing “Over the rainbow” in your head until their lips stop moving.

5. Detox. If you walk away and find that in spite of your best efforts, you were infected anyway (it is contagious afterall!), then immediately detox. Do NOT allow yourself to play it over and over in your head. Turn on some music, play a funny or inspiring video. For me the fastest way is to whip out a pen and start writing down all of the things that I am grateful for (which often includes not being like them:). Gratitude will edge out just about any negative emotion faster than anything else!

6. Avoid. Then there is always the ‘avoid them’ approach. You can love them at a distance, without allowing them in your space. Now, I get some resistance to this one sometimes. People will say ‘but they need your help! they need you to lift them up!’. Some people are open to help, others are not. Sometimes you have to use your best judgement to figure out who is who. In either case, as I said before, if they are in a rant, they probably just want to wallow in it for the moment and that is not the best time. If you struggle yourself with being positive, it is even more important to avoid the Hope snatchers until you are stronger. Having a negative attitude is a habit. Don’t set yourself up if you are still trying to break it. You wouldn’t tell someone who is trying to quit smoking that they should go sit in a smoke filled bar and try to help the patrons quit!

7. Meditate. I don’t mean you have to sit cross-legged and hum or anything, but closing your eyes and having a nice calm image in mind, or having a nice calming and affirming conversation with yourself while taking slow deep breaths really does help! You know how you would mentally calm yourself when kids would get on your last nerve? Yeah, do that.

8. Create your own way. Lastly, create your own way. I have an imaginary ‘warrior’ that I jokingly call upon to kick the negative voices in my own head (hey, it makes me shift, makes me laugh. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). If you love to run, bike, sing, whatever, do that!

Whatever you do, remember:

• it IS a choice!

• “Realistic” is a word used almost exclusively to suck the faith and hope and possibility out of anyone. Remember that there are millions of examples of “unrealistic possibilities” coming true! The lightbulb wasn’t realistic before it was invented, neither was the personal computer, the cell phone, a man walking on the moon…There are millions of people who survived when there was “0 chance”.

• Happiness and hope are available to all of us. Don’t let anyone snatch yours!

(and just in case you’re interested, I just ordered this button! Click on the picture to order yours

 

There are many definitions of the word compassion.

Typically we think of empathy, or pity, or caring.

For the purposes of this post however, simply break the word into it’s parts:

Com (together) + Passion (any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling)

How are you sharing passion together with others?

Are you sharing in their passion?

Are you sharing your passion with them?

Passion is a powerful thing. It provides the fuel for what you do.

COMpassion is like rocket fuel!

When you share your passion, and share the passion of another, you truly add value to them and to you.

How can you share in the passion of another today?

Whether you sell widgets, or  provide a service to others, you can always connect with your passion, and connect with that of another.

Being passionate about connecting with others, and caring about their passions builds relationships, and fulfills them and you. The value of that will often lead to monetary value,

but it is ALWAYS priceless.

Compassion and Business by HeatherO

 

How often have you thought or heard:

“I just don’t have the will power…”

Today I encourage you to forget about will power!

What is will power anyway? The discipline needed to achieve something?

Without motivation, there is no discipline!

All too often, its not that you lack the will power. It’s just that the ‘thing’ you are trying to achieve doesn’t motivate you in and of itself.

What motivates us is the ‘why’.

Why do you want to lose weight, or make more money, or get 100 sales or whatever it is?

If you want power, discover what I call, your “O power”.

That is, the power that is the core of yOu!

O Power = your core talents, gifts, passions, AND your Why!

WHY Power is the power of knowing what really ‘juices’ you!

What is your why? Or to put another way, what is your;

Reason

Purpose and

Meaning?

(it’s no accident that those 3 things = RPM!)

Use a vision board, a screensaver, pictures, wordles (like the one above) to keep your focus on your WHY, and the WILL will come!

 

Ever have trouble figuring out what to do first? Or what to do next?

Focus is one of the biggest challenges we ALL face!

Click here to listen to my latest audio for a quick chat about that!