We all know people who some would call “pollyanna” and others that would be [kindly] labeled ‘negative nellies’. There are, of course a whole host of others in between (drama queens, Debbie downer, etc).

I fall on the higher end of the ‘positive’ spectrum, most of the time, but I didn’t used to. Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t just ‘born that way’ and the excuse ‘I was raised that way’ doesn’t fly too well with me either. I dispel both of those myths.

So why is it that some people are positive and some are negative?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first is awareness. Most positive people choose to be. Negative folks are often unaware that they are, or at least they believe that it is their circumstances, not ‘them’.

They are the ‘realistic people’…

They are the:

• ‘you have to be prepared for the worst’ people,

• the ‘don’t set yourself up for failure people’ and

• the ‘that’s impossible’ people

…all rolled up into one. Unfortunately, those people live and breathe on this planet with the rest of us, and in order to preserve their belief that it’s all out of their control, they need to suck the rest of us into their stinking thinking. They aren’t necessarily aware in any way, they just know that the way they think is ‘the right way’ and even if it’s not, they don’t want to hear it.

They wrap themselves up in a blanket of ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ and loads of evidence to support their belief.

They are prepared, and they are not ‘kidding themselves’.

They are ruled by fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of hurt and sometimes, fear of taking responsibility.

The ‘reality’ is that there is more than enough evidence that supports the power of positive thinking. There is more than enough evidence to prove that the world is filled with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, those things are only visible to those who choose to see it. It is invisible to those who are convinced that it isn’t there.

So what do you do?

How do you protect yourself from the Hope Snatchers?

1. First comes faith. In fact, this post should probably be called Invasion of the Faith Snatchers, but I didn’t want folks to get all tripped up on that word. For some that makes their head go off and imagine evangelicals and that isn’t what I mean at all. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in mankind, the world, etc. With faith there is hope and possibility. Without it?

2. Smile and silently say to yourself “they are simply unaware” (thanks to Leslie Flowers for that mantra. I have worn it out! :)

3. Choose whether to engage. In some cases, I think people need to be called out. If you know them well, believe that they just don’t realize how negative they are, or simply feel like you have to, call them on it. Do it nicely, but say something like “wow, did anything good happen today?” Or direct them to shift by saying something like “so what can you do about it?” Or, you can politely say something like “I understand your point of view, mine is a little different, but I can appreciate yours…”

4. Tune OUT. More often than not, this may be the best way to go. As a friend of mine once pointed out “do you really think they are going to listen to you and say Oh my God! How could I have been so wrong all these years. I had no idea! Thank you for saving me!” So, tuning them out will preserve your sanity and save you from pounding your head into the wall. Unless they are choosing to be in a conversation about the value of being positive, the moment in time that they are in full blown ‘realistic mode’ is probably not the time to try to change them. Nod, smile and sing “Over the rainbow” in your head until their lips stop moving.

5. Detox. If you walk away and find that in spite of your best efforts, you were infected anyway (it is contagious afterall!), then immediately detox. Do NOT allow yourself to play it over and over in your head. Turn on some music, play a funny or inspiring video. For me the fastest way is to whip out a pen and start writing down all of the things that I am grateful for (which often includes not being like them:). Gratitude will edge out just about any negative emotion faster than anything else!

6. Avoid. Then there is always the ‘avoid them’ approach. You can love them at a distance, without allowing them in your space. Now, I get some resistance to this one sometimes. People will say ‘but they need your help! they need you to lift them up!’. Some people are open to help, others are not. Sometimes you have to use your best judgement to figure out who is who. In either case, as I said before, if they are in a rant, they probably just want to wallow in it for the moment and that is not the best time. If you struggle yourself with being positive, it is even more important to avoid the Hope snatchers until you are stronger. Having a negative attitude is a habit. Don’t set yourself up if you are still trying to break it. You wouldn’t tell someone who is trying to quit smoking that they should go sit in a smoke filled bar and try to help the patrons quit!

7. Meditate. I don’t mean you have to sit cross-legged and hum or anything, but closing your eyes and having a nice calm image in mind, or having a nice calming and affirming conversation with yourself while taking slow deep breaths really does help! You know how you would mentally calm yourself when kids would get on your last nerve? Yeah, do that.

8. Create your own way. Lastly, create your own way. I have an imaginary ‘warrior’ that I jokingly call upon to kick the negative voices in my own head (hey, it makes me shift, makes me laugh. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). If you love to run, bike, sing, whatever, do that!

Whatever you do, remember:

• it IS a choice!

• “Realistic” is a word used almost exclusively to suck the faith and hope and possibility out of anyone. Remember that there are millions of examples of “unrealistic possibilities” coming true! The lightbulb wasn’t realistic before it was invented, neither was the personal computer, the cell phone, a man walking on the moon…There are millions of people who survived when there was “0 chance”.

• Happiness and hope are available to all of us. Don’t let anyone snatch yours!

(and just in case you’re interested, I just ordered this button! Click on the picture to order yours :)

There are many definitions of the word compassion.

Typically we think of empathy, or pity, or caring.

For the purposes of this post however, simply break the word into it’s parts:

Com (together) + Passion (any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling)

How are you sharing passion together with others?

Are you sharing in their passion?

Are you sharing your passion with them?

Passion is a powerful thing. It provides the fuel for what you do.

COMpassion is like rocket fuel!

When you share your passion, and share the passion of another, you truly add value to them and to you.

How can you share in the passion of another today?

Whether you sell widgets, or  provide a service to others, you can always connect with your passion, and connect with that of another.

Being passionate about connecting with others, and caring about their passions builds relationships, and fulfills them and you. The value of that will often lead to monetary value,

but it is ALWAYS priceless.

Compassion and Business by HeatherO

How often have you thought or heard:

“I just don’t have the will power…”

Today I encourage you to forget about will power!

What is will power anyway? The discipline needed to achieve something?

Without motivation, there is no discipline!

All too often, its not that you lack the will power. It’s just that the ‘thing’ you are trying to achieve doesn’t motivate you in and of itself.

What motivates us is the ‘why’.

Why do you want to lose weight, or make more money, or get 100 sales or whatever it is?

If you want power, discover what I call, your “O power”.

That is, the power that is the core of yOu!

O Power = your core talents, gifts, passions, AND your Why!

WHY Power is the power of knowing what really ‘juices’ you!

What is your why? Or to put another way, what is your;

Reason

Purpose and

Meaning?

(it’s no accident that those 3 things = RPM!)

Use a vision board, a screensaver, pictures, wordles (like the one above) to keep your focus on your WHY, and the WILL will come!

Ever have trouble figuring out what to do first? Or what to do next?

Focus is one of the biggest challenges we ALL face!

Click here to listen to my latest audio for a quick chat about that!

Purpose and passion are two things that I talk about and help folks discover and define often. In fact, that is the foundation for my coaching groups. Why?

Because it has EVERYthing to do with everything in my opinion!

We spend so much time working, creating our business, doing business, trying to figure out how to get more business, etc, yet at the end of the day all too often we feel like an exhausted hamster running the wheel!

Whether it’s because we built our business simply based on “I’m good at that” or based on “this will make money”, the end result is that we are often unfulfilled. I learned the hard way that a full bank account and fulfillment are very different things. Financial success all by itself just isn’t enough.

We get discouraged, burned out, and frustrated. It doesn’t have to be that way!

We tend to think work has to be hard, and we are supposed to ‘have fun’ when we are ‘off’. In fact, when I decided to ditch my career to pursue my passion two years ago, my (then) best friend said:

“This is NOT the time! There are plenty of people who go to work everyday at a job they hate and then go home at 5 to be happy! There will be plenty of time to live your dream later!”

How sad is that?

Sadly, she was right!

So, what do you do about it?

1. Get clear on what you feel your purpose is on this planet.

2. Think about how ‘what you do’ serves that purpose (write it down).

3. Make a list of the things that you LOVE to do! Not just hobbies, etc., but the things that make you feel good. What makes you feel alive? Are you a problem solver? creative? Think of those little things and write them down.

4. Incorporate more of that you love to do in “what you do”

5. Start your day with something that you love to do! It will give you energy for the things that you don’t!

6. Change the way that you think! Gratitude is more powerful than most people realize! Just shifting from “I have to do a client proposal” to “I get to do a client proposal” makes a tremendous difference!! Try it!

“We can’t just sit around doing what we love. We have to work”

Sound familiar?

Actually that isn’t entirely true. Changing the way we think about those things that we don’t love to do, can change whether it feels like work! Changing the way we view our work, really does make a BIG difference!

Also changing how and when we DO our ‘work’ makes a big difference!

I often quote Zig Ziglar in saying “If you’ve gotta eat a frog, you don’t want to look at that sucker for very long. He ain’t gonna get any prettier!”

In other words, go ahead and do what you are dreading first!

However! I also say start out your day doing something that makes you feel good!

So, start out your day reading, enjoying your favorite coffee on the deck, watching a funny video, listening to your favorite tune, or whatever.

Then, hit those “frogs’ (before you dive into the rest of your day), and then do something that makes you feel good!

Think of it like a sandwich! It’s a whole lot easier to eat a piece of lettuce when it’s sandwiched in with stuff you like, right?

Remember, doing what you love isn’t lazy, or narcissistic, or irresponsible or any of those ‘bad words’. It simply means that you are aware of what fuels you, and you are smart enough to know that you need fuel right?

So if you love talking on the phone, or problem solving, or organizing, find ways to do more of that in your business. Then look at the things that you are telling your self that you don’t love, and ask yourself if there is a better way to think about them.

For example, instead of thinking “I’m creating a marketing plan”, I think “I am helping someone live their dream! Helping them to share their purpose, passions and talents with the world!”

Instead of thinking “I have to pay bills!” choose to think “Yippeee! I have the money to pay bills!”

Life is meant to be LIVED and LOVED and enjoyed! You were given your passions and talents for a reason! Discover them, and discover a life beyond success. Discover a life of fulfillment and significance!

What are your passions?

I had a long conversation with my 10yr old the other day. It went something like this:

“Your success in life will never be determined by how smart you are, or how cool you are. It will always be determined by the difference you make in the lives of others. You have the power every day to make someone’s day, or to break it. To lift them up, or bring them down. The choice is yours. And you don’t need education, looks, or money to do it.

We often measure success in terms of money, and things and titles. All of those are great things, but they alone will be empty without significance. You can have success AND significance, but you won’t ever feel fully fulfilled with success only.

Your level of significance comes from how you connect with people.”

Here is a great example of how simple it really is. It’s a bit long, but I encourage you to watch it in its entirety. It is well worth it!

Click here to view the embedded video.

As I was driving home yesterday from visiting my grandmother in the hospital, I found myself thinking “jeesh, what did I do? Things were going fine for a while there, why did everything suddenly go awry?”

I hadn’t thought that way in years! I had that mentality of ‘if something goes wrong it’s your fault’ a long time ago! (Funny how those old belief systems hang on!)

I had been trucking along on the open road with sunny skies, as I have countless times in my life. Some more glorious, others less so. Then along would come big curves, steep turns, speedbumps, roadblocks, detours…

The truth is, those speedbumps are there to tell us when we need to slow down. Roadblocks exist to protect us from danger ahead, and it is those curves and turn that make life interesting. It is those detours that introduce us to new people, places, and experiences that we would miss ‘taking the straight road’.

I also couldn’t help but think that without them how would we ever truly appreciate the open road?

Perhaps the rough legs of the journey aren’t the ‘punishment’. Perhaps it is just the opposite. Perhaps the open road  is the reward for making it through the twists and turns. Or maybe the great scenery, the new places, and people and lessons themselves are the real reward!

Rewards that we get to enjoy by having times where we get to just cruise along…

What do YOU think?

(Just for fun…enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCPbL4yA7ik )

This video started out as an explanation for why I am now doing “mobile videos”. What it really comes down to however, is not ‘waiting to be perfect’.  While you are waiting to be perfect, you are keeping others from enjoying the value of your unique gifts and talents! How can you let go of perfectionism and give value to others today?

Click here to view the embedded video.

I wrote this for the amazing women in my 2010 Vision groups last week. It isn’t ‘studio quality’, but the message remains the same nonetheless!

You weren’t created to be weak, or fearful, or lost…

Click here to view & listen:

Why You Are Here…

Want to know the secret to a fulfilled and inspired life?

Clarity!

Clarity in your purpose, your passions, your goals. What drives you?

• Do you think your goal is to make money?

It isn’t! It’s what you believe money will give you! What you believe it will do for you.

• Do you believe that success will make you happy?

All by itself, it won’t. What we really want is significance. We all have a deeply ingrained need for significance. To do something bigger than ourselves.

The only thing between where you are and where you want to be is lack of clarity.

It’s not just about your thoughts. It’s about your EMOTION. Your thoughts shape your emotions.Your emotions determine your actions. Your actions determine your results.

It’s your emotion that gets you in gear!

Your emotions determine whether you find a way, move around the road blocks, over mountains and beyond, or whether you sit on the couch and watch tv.

What juices YOU?

Discover what THAT is, what it really is!

I was going to do a video on this, but this one by Tony Robbins says it all! :)

Click here to view the embedded video.