Good Morning! It is 6am as I am writing this. I am out on the deck up in the mountains and my dear friend Marla’s house. It is still dark and cool, and all I hear is chirping [bliss!]

Today is my birthday and when I woke up this morning the thought for this post came to me, so here I am writing in the dark

For those of you who have known or ‘followed me’ for any length of time, you know that I am “all about your story”. Creating and sharing your story and who you are is ‘my thing’. So, I was very excited as I watched the Facebook F8 conference the other day and saw the introduction to the new timeline format.

Last night I went ahead and updated mine (developers can update early, but no one else can see it until 9/30). I really like the layout, and enjoyed being able to look back on highlights from previous years.

What occurred to me this morning was what a great perspective it gives us in where we are and how far we have come-or not:)

I look forward to it opening up to everyone so I can encourage my current and past coaching clients to look back and see:

are you still complaining about the same things?
have you done what you wanted to do?
are you STILL waiting to be.do.have what you want, etc?

We don’t always want to look at those things, but it is important! It is important to see where we need to MOVE and to recognize what we HAVE done, and how far we have come!

The last year was a tough one for me, but I can still see progress, and I can see those little moments that were great! That is a good thing!

I look forward to your thoughts, and to hear your thoughts after timeline is released to everyone. I hope you will share your “aha’s” with me

 

For many years now [ever since I left Real Estate Brokerage] I have struggled with labels. People would ask “What do you do?”

Seems like a simple question, but articulating an answer never was.
When I would speak somewhere, people would also ask me for a title or ‘label’. I found that even more challenging.

I never wanted to ‘just be social media’, marketing and branding didn’t quite cover it…I’m not a big fan of titles like “coach” and I never liked words like “guru”…

I have always seen myself as a “connect the dots girl”. I help people see what they cannot see [because they don't have an outside perspective of who they are or what they do] and help them to get clarity in what they do, and create message that people understand. I also often help people create plans, complete todo’s, etc.

I had an epiphany last night.

It occurred to me that I am more like a GPS.

Most people have an idea of where they want to go. They just want to get there, but they need help navigating. They need to know which way to turn next, how to navigate detours. I basically help them get where they want to go. Sometimes I help them to see that where they think they want to go isn’t really where they want to go at all!

As I continued to muse this thought, I realized that I simply help people overcome the challenges that I have struggled with and overcome. I know what it is like to lack direction, clarity, courage, a path, a plan, etc. In fact, I still have those moments [and days].

It is said that your greatest failures and challenges in life are clues to your purpose. I never really liked that thought very much, but am now pondering it in a different way.

What would that mean for you?

 

As I sit here and ponder the insane list I have created for myself to do this weekend, I am thinking about what really matters.  My boys have been gone all summer, and return tomorrow. I am so excited! They start school Thursday.

My project list looks something like this:

• Revamp DYD product
• Get ready for client call this afternoon
• Create a blog for client
• Write blog posts for client
• Schedule webinar
• Create sign up sheet for webinar
• Schedule vision group for fall
• Create sign up sheet for vision group
• Empty the chairs with pile of stuff on them
• Clean up the kitchen
• Clean up the family room
• Clean up the den
• Clean up & rearrange boys’ room
• Clear off kitchen Desk
• Clear off office desk
• Move boys’ desks
• clean up ‘blue room’
• Find hangers
• Put inherited clothes away
• Empty boys’ baskets
• Get boys socks, pj’s, backpack, deodorant
• Wash Sam’s backpack
• Clean foyer & hall (move desk there)
• Make meal plan
• Grocery list
• Go to grocery
• sweep & mop
• pick up Sam’s Birthday present
• wrap gifts
• make cake/brownies
• etc, etc, etc…

Pretty long list to accomplish in a day and a half!

No matter what your list involves, or how long it is, I find it helps to stop. Sit back and contemplate what really matteers.

Whether it is your home life, business life or family life, relationships are what matters most. Making a difference and creating memories matter.

So here is how I’m doing it…

1. What will make me a crazy woman if I don’t get it done?
2. What will make me the happiest & energize me?
3. What will make the boys happiest?
4. What will provide the most value to others?
5. What can wait until after they get home?
6. What will stress me out most if I DON’T get it done?

20 years from now, most of the things that I am worrying about today won’t even be a memory!

So, here is where I start…

Boys:

Clean room

Put clothes away

Buy socks

Clients:

Redo DYD

Schedule webinar

Get ready for client call

House:

Clean up kitchen

Clothes away

Sweep/Mop

Me:

Clean up my office

Move desk

empty trash

Fun:

Do vision board

Write

As you go into the new week, take time to plan a little. What are your goals? What matters most? Schedule time for what matters and make it a priority! Think about what REALLY matters in the big scheme of things and let the rest go

 

Most of us don’t realize it, but we live most of our lives feeling inadequate because we want to be perfect. The truth is that no one is perfect. We know that, we’ve heard that, yet somewhere deep down inside we are still trying. Letting go of this is a fundamental key to success and happiness!

Recently at the urging of a friend, I put together a little product for download on my website. I gave myself and deadline and I posted it on time even though I wasn’t convinced that it was good enough. The process failed and after people ordered the product they didn’t receive the link. I was up half the night manually emailing it to people.  Then I got emails from people saying there weren’t enough pictures, and they didn’t understand it.

It was a frustrating situation, but I was thrilled!

Why?

Because I did it! I let go of my perfectionism and just did it! I would not have known where there were breaks, or what was missing, etc. without putting it out there and getting feedback! Everyone received what they purchased, and will receive updates and more information as I put it together. They will all receive more than their money’s worth, and I learned some great lessons in the process.

We are all worthy of great abundance, joy and more. Sometimes we just have to get out of our own way to have it! We are all “good enough”. Before we can become even better, I believe we all have to start there.

I encourage you to read these posts on worthiness and perfection by one of my favorite authors:

 Brene Brown.

http://www.ordinarycourage.com/hustle-for-worthiness-dvd/

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/11/01/give.up.perfection/index.html

 

Many of us struggle with imperfection at varying degrees. Perfectionism is something most people don’t think they have an issue with, but many do.

Recently (at the urging of a friend), I put a planning system/methodology that I use online for purchase. I gave myself a deadline, and although it was ‘perfect enough’ in my eyes, I posted it ON TIME.

Ironically, there was a break in the system and the download wasn’t delivered to purchasers after they paid. I felt terrible and stayed up half the night emailing each person the download one by one.

I was exhausted, but ironically I was grateful.

I was grateful because I had kept a promise to myself. Grateful that I “just did it”, and grateful because I learned from it. I didn’t learn that “next time I won’t do it until I know it is perfect”, instead I learned that sometimes “just doing it” is the best way to find the issues and correct them.

We are all human, and being imperfect is simply a part of that!

Look for areas where you need to stretch yourself. Step outside of that comfort zone, and embrace being “unapologetically imperfect”. It feels great, and you learn a lot

 

I had a brainstorm last night to write a book about the lessons learned from my two grandmothers. I have a few books that I have started, but this is one that I can really get excited about! I am posting about it here to hold me accountable and get me started!

My grandmothers were complete opposites in many ways, yet had many things in common.

Both were entrepreneurial (which in those day was a big deal! many didn’t even work outside the home!)

Both lost children.

Both loved their children.

They had many differences however, and I learned a lot from both of them.

Grandma Bobbie was less outspoken. In fact, for many years (I’m embarrassed to admit) I thought she was a doormat.  She rarely raised her voice, never held a grudge, and was far more forgiving than most people could understand.

Grandma Edna was “a tough broad”.  She had virtually raised her siblings, didn’t put up with any ‘crap’ and most of us grandkids were scared of her when we were little.

Grandma Bobbie LOVED to go fishing, and did it as often as she could.

I only remember fishing with Grandma Edna once. We were fishing with my dad who had all of the lures, and tackle and ‘stuff’ one needed to catch fish. We didn’t catch any. Grandma did though. She put some leftover chicken on the hook and BAM!

Both were willing to work hard, and loved their children and grandchildren in their own way.

Both supported their husbands, and made sure there was food on the table.

Grandma Bobbie was an amazing cook! I miss her food every day!

Grandma Edna cooked “healthier meals” and us grandkids were known to have pizza delivered through a bedroom window

Grandma Edna didn’t “do Christmas presents”. She believed that took away from the meaning of Christmas. Every year she had a birthday cake for baby Jesus though, a memory that I treasure and a tradition that my boys now do too.

Grandma Bobbie LOVED Christmas! She started shopping for the next year before the current one was even over! Christmas Eve at her house was MAGICAL! She loaded up boxes for everyone. If you showed up unexpected, she would scurry to the back bedroom, and a wrapped gift for you would appear under the tree. I my 41 years I only missed 2 Christmas Eve’s at her house (and I cried both times;).

The one word I would use to describe Grandma Edna is “Fearless”

The word that I would use to describe Grandma Bobbie is “forgiving”

I always saw Grandma Edna as a strong woman. It wasn’t until her last year with us that I realized how strong Grandma Bobbie truly was. All of the times that she did things like having dinner with her ex and the woman he cheated on her with, we saw that as ‘weak’. I realized during that trying time that her ability to do that took tremendous strength! I realized that being angry and holding a grudge would have been easy. Forgiving took a level of strength that we simply could not comprehend.

I am so blessed that Grandma Edna is still with us. One of the greatest lessons that I ever learned, and one that has guided me often in my life was this:

“No matter what you do, everybody isn’t going to like you. If you are too pretty, someone won’t like you because you are too pretty. If you are smart, someone won’t like you because you are too smart. If you are who you are, and stand up for what you believe in however, they will have no choice but to respect you and that will be enough”

Powerful words from a powerful woman!

One of the things that I will always remember about Grandma Bobbie happened during her last days. An [evil] nurse at the hospital came in to see her(because she had continuously refused to sign papers to let her die). The woman said “you are never ever going to walk, talk or eat again, do you really want to live like that?” To which my grandmother who could not speak nodded her head with more vigor than I can describe! Most people couldn’t understand that. Most people could only see the misery and pain, and how much they ‘wouldn’t want to live that way’. A friend of mine explained it best. She said “she doesn’t care if she can eat or walk or talk. All she cares about is being able to be here loving each of you.”

(Talk about strength!)

Two strong women from very different backgrounds, with very different stories, but we can learn so much from both of them!

 

One of my New Year’s “Promises” to myself was to start blogging more about me and my story. Why? Because people care. Like most people, I wonder why anyone would. But, I know that people do. We love to hear peoples’ story, to connect and empathize, to laugh and to cry together other humans like ourselves. So, here goes…

It’s the new year, and like most, I have resolved to make changes in my life for the better. One is to finally get my weight where I want it to be (notice I didn’t say diet or lose). Another was to get back to a more structured morning routine so that I don’t meander through the day aimlessly and feel lousy about it when I go to bed at night.

So, I just “happened to find” (quotes because you’ll learn that I don’t believe anything happens by accident) a new eating plan that I’m very excited about. It’s written by a guy who I like and respect, who has written previous books that I liked, and because it makes sense to me. I decided this time I wouldn’t run off and spend 100′s of dollars all at once at the grocery store (a testament to my conscious change in thinking habits regarding many things, including money).

I went to the Fresh Market yesterday to pick up a few things that I knew wouldn’t be in our usual store. The only thing I found there was low-carb wheat tortillas. They weren’t the right brand, but they would work. My intention was to go to the grocery store after to pick up a few other items. My husband mentioned on the way out the door however that he wanted to go to church at 5:30 (It was 3:30 and I had 2 other errands to run as well, one of which was to buy the book which would tell me what foods I needed). So I rushed through the 3 stores, got my tortillas and hurried home, resting assured that he would go to the grocery after.

On my way home, I called him to let him know I was almost there. “Oh, don’t rush” he said. Apparently his mom had called and he had just gotten out of the shower so he had decided not to go after all. He didn’t want “to feel rushed”. ‘Okaaaayyy“, I thought after a deep sigh! Home I went. I called a friend on the way, and was still on the phone when I arrived. Next thing I knew, he was pulling out of the driveway. He had gone to the grocery store – without my list.

Slightly ruffled, I again sighed another “okay” to myself and returned to my office to finish the morning and weekly plans that I was creating (which included meal plans for which I had no food except for tortillas). He made a great dinner, and after eating I went about my next ‘todo’ to which I was committed for the day. Coloring my hair (yes, I have gray hair, so what!:)

Looking at the clock, I realized that going to the grocery at that point would mean going at nearly 11pm which would not only mean my getting to bed too late (which would screw up my getting up early to hit that routine), not to mention the fact that 20 degrees it was really freaking cold outside! “It’s Okay” I said to myself. “I can do this! I have my tortillas, and a few eggs, I can still do this”.

Later than intended, I hit the bed at 11:30, groaning a bit as I set my alarm for 5:30 (knowing that 6hours just isn’t enough for me). “I can always take a nap if I need to. It’s Okay, I can do this” I thought out loud.

Wide awake, I rolled over to eye the clock. It was blurry, but appeared to say three something. I rolled back over. A few minutes later I wake up wide-eyed. The clock clearly says 3:33. Not only does it ‘say’ it, but it appears to blink at me and grow larger with each second. “3:33 is way too early” I thought followed by “But 3:33 almost seems cryptic, like a sign somehow”.
Next thought: “you know you believe that God talks to us in the middle of the night so we’ll listen. He wants you to get up, do it”. Another voice screams “but you’ll screw up your plan, you’ll be exhausted, it’s way too early!” I stagger out of bed thinking “it’s okay, I can do this. I can always take a nap if I need to,”. I stumble into the kitchen and start the coffee (darn, I forgot to do that last night. Oh well, it wouldn’t have been ready now anyway!)

I go to the fridge to get the half and half, and glance at the nutritional info. One gram of sugar PER serving. I groaned. My plan only allows for 5 grams per day (& at 3am I am certain that I will drink the whole pot by 8!).

“It’s okay, I can do this” I thought. Then as I was waiting for the coffee, I saw it…in the shadow of the light. The chewed up EMPTY tortilla bag, on the floor. My eyes widened in the hope that I was seeing things. “No he didn’t!” I thought. He did. My dog had eaten the entire bag of tortillas! “That was the only thing I had” I practically screamed out loud! My mind racing, I thought “well, I could just start tomorrow. I can go to the grocery store, get more, and regular cream, and the other things that I need, and it’ll be fine.”

“No. It’s okay, I can do this” my voice said calmly…

You see, Zig Ziglar was right when he said “it’s not where you start, it’s how you finish”. The best plans in the world rarely go as planned. There are simply things that happen. My friend (and great coach) Kim Ades of Frame of Mind Coaching says that the only difference between top performers and everyone else is emotional resilience. It’s not JUST about persistence, or sticking to it. Persistence is about something bigger. It’s about emotional fortitude. It’s about commitment and determination and yes, some good old fashioned stubbornness. It’s about not letting things outside of your control take over what you can control – your thoughts and emotions.

It’s 3:33 am and I have no tortillas. But, I can still follow my morning routine (from 5:30-8:30). In fact, now I’ve got a head start! I can still not eat sugar for breakfast, and go to the grocery (or send my hubby:) before lunch. I can take a nap if I need to.

It’s okay. I can do this…and I will.”

 

One of my New Year’s “Promises” to myself was to start blogging more about me and my story. Why? Because people care. Like most people, I wonder why anyone would. But, I know that people do. We love to hear peoples’ story, to connect and empathize, to laugh and to cry together other humans like ourselves. So, here goes…

It’s the new year, and like most, I have resolved to make changes in my life for the better. One is to finally get my weight where I want it to be (notice I didn’t say diet or lose). Another was to get back to a more structured morning routine so that I don’t meander through the day aimlessly and feel lousy about it when I go to bed at night.

So, I just “happened to find” (quotes because you’ll learn that I don’t believe anything happens by accident) a new eating plan that I’m very excited about. It’s written by a guy who I like and respect, who has written previous books that I liked, and because it makes sense to me. I decided this time I wouldn’t run off and spend 100′s of dollars all at once at the grocery store (a testament to my conscious change in thinking habits regarding many things, including money).

I went to the Fresh Market yesterday to pick up a few things that I knew wouldn’t be in our usual store. The only thing I found there was low-carb wheat tortillas. They weren’t the right brand, but they would work. My intention was to go to the grocery store after to pick up a few other items. My husband mentioned on the way out the door however that he wanted to go to church at 5:30 (It was 3:30 and I had 2 other errands to run as well, one of which was to buy the book which would tell me what foods I needed). So I rushed through the 3 stores, got my tortillas and hurried home, resting assured that he would go to the grocery after.

On my way home, I called him to let him know I was almost there. “Oh, don’t rush” he said. Apparently his mom had called and he had just gotten out of the shower so he had decided not to go after all. He didn’t want “to feel rushed”. ‘Okaaaayyy“, I thought after a deep sigh! Home I went. I called a friend on the way, and was still on the phone when I arrived. Next thing I knew, he was pulling out of the driveway. He had gone to the grocery store – without my list.

Slightly ruffled, I again sighed another “okay” to myself and returned to my office to finish the morning and weekly plans that I was creating (which included meal plans for which I had no food except for tortillas). He made a great dinner, and after eating I went about my next ‘todo’ to which I was committed for the day. Coloring my hair (yes, I have gray hair, so what!:)

Looking at the clock, I realized that going to the grocery at that point would mean going at nearly 11pm which would not only mean my getting to bed too late (which would screw up my getting up early to hit that routine), not to mention the fact that 20 degrees it was really freaking cold outside! “It’s Okay” I said to myself. “I can do this! I have my tortillas, and a few eggs, I can still do this”.

Later than intended, I hit the bed at 11:30, groaning a bit as I set my alarm for 5:30 (knowing that 6hours just isn’t enough for me). “I can always take a nap if I need to. It’s Okay, I can do this” I thought out loud.

Wide awake, I rolled over to eye the clock. It was blurry, but appeared to say three something. I rolled back over. A few minutes later I wake up wide-eyed. The clock clearly says 3:33. Not only does it ‘say’ it, but it appears to blink at me and grow larger with each second. “3:33 is way too early” I thought followed by “But 3:33 almost seems cryptic, like a sign somehow”.
Next thought: “you know you believe that God talks to us in the middle of the night so we’ll listen. He wants you to get up, do it”. Another voice screams “but you’ll screw up your plan, you’ll be exhausted, it’s way too early!” I stagger out of bed thinking “it’s okay, I can do this. I can always take a nap if I need to,”. I stumble into the kitchen and start the coffee (darn, I forgot to do that last night. Oh well, it wouldn’t have been ready now anyway!)

I go to the fridge to get the half and half, and glance at the nutritional info. One gram of sugar PER serving. I groaned. My plan only allows for 5 grams per day (& at 3am I am certain that I will drink the whole pot by 8!).

“It’s okay, I can do this” I thought. Then as I was waiting for the coffee, I saw it…in the shadow of the light. The chewed up EMPTY tortilla bag, on the floor. My eyes widened in the hope that I was seeing things. “No he didn’t!” I thought. He did. My dog had eaten the entire bag of tortillas! “That was the only thing I had” I practically screamed out loud! My mind racing, I thought “well, I could just start tomorrow. I can go to the grocery store, get more, and regular cream, and the other things that I need, and it’ll be fine.”

“No. It’s okay, I can do this” my voice said calmly…

You see, Zig Ziglar was right when he said “it’s not where you start, it’s how you finish”. The best plans in the world rarely go as planned. There are simply things that happen. My friend (and great coach) Kim Ades of Frame of Mind Coaching says that the only difference between top performers and everyone else is emotional resilience. It’s not JUST about persistence, or sticking to it. Persistence is about something bigger. It’s about emotional fortitude. It’s about commitment and determination and yes, some good old fashioned stubbornness. It’s about not letting things outside of your control take over what you can control – your thoughts and emotions.

It’s 3:33 am and I have no tortillas. But, I can still follow my morning routine (from 5:30-8:30). In fact, now I’ve got a head start! I can still not eat sugar for breakfast, and go to the grocery (or send my hubby:) before lunch. I can take a nap if I need to.

It’s okay. I can do this…and I will.”