We all know people who some would call “pollyanna” and others that would be [kindly] labeled ‘negative nellies’. There are, of course a whole host of others in between (drama queens, Debbie downer, etc).

I fall on the higher end of the ‘positive’ spectrum, most of the time, but I didn’t used to. Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t just ‘born that way’ and the excuse ‘I was raised that way’ doesn’t fly too well with me either. I dispel both of those myths.

So why is it that some people are positive and some are negative?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first is awareness. Most positive people choose to be. Negative folks are often unaware that they are, or at least they believe that it is their circumstances, not ‘them’.

They are the ‘realistic people’…

They are the:

• ‘you have to be prepared for the worst’ people,

• the ‘don’t set yourself up for failure people’ and

• the ‘that’s impossible’ people

…all rolled up into one. Unfortunately, those people live and breathe on this planet with the rest of us, and in order to preserve their belief that it’s all out of their control, they need to suck the rest of us into their stinking thinking. They aren’t necessarily aware in any way, they just know that the way they think is ‘the right way’ and even if it’s not, they don’t want to hear it.

They wrap themselves up in a blanket of ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ and loads of evidence to support their belief.

They are prepared, and they are not ‘kidding themselves’.

They are ruled by fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of hurt and sometimes, fear of taking responsibility.

The ‘reality’ is that there is more than enough evidence that supports the power of positive thinking. There is more than enough evidence to prove that the world is filled with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, those things are only visible to those who choose to see it. It is invisible to those who are convinced that it isn’t there.

So what do you do?

How do you protect yourself from the Hope Snatchers?

1. First comes faith. In fact, this post should probably be called Invasion of the Faith Snatchers, but I didn’t want folks to get all tripped up on that word. For some that makes their head go off and imagine evangelicals and that isn’t what I mean at all. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in mankind, the world, etc. With faith there is hope and possibility. Without it?

2. Smile and silently say to yourself “they are simply unaware” (thanks to Leslie Flowers for that mantra. I have worn it out! :)

3. Choose whether to engage. In some cases, I think people need to be called out. If you know them well, believe that they just don’t realize how negative they are, or simply feel like you have to, call them on it. Do it nicely, but say something like “wow, did anything good happen today?” Or direct them to shift by saying something like “so what can you do about it?” Or, you can politely say something like “I understand your point of view, mine is a little different, but I can appreciate yours…”

4. Tune OUT. More often than not, this may be the best way to go. As a friend of mine once pointed out “do you really think they are going to listen to you and say Oh my God! How could I have been so wrong all these years. I had no idea! Thank you for saving me!” So, tuning them out will preserve your sanity and save you from pounding your head into the wall. Unless they are choosing to be in a conversation about the value of being positive, the moment in time that they are in full blown ‘realistic mode’ is probably not the time to try to change them. Nod, smile and sing “Over the rainbow” in your head until their lips stop moving.

5. Detox. If you walk away and find that in spite of your best efforts, you were infected anyway (it is contagious afterall!), then immediately detox. Do NOT allow yourself to play it over and over in your head. Turn on some music, play a funny or inspiring video. For me the fastest way is to whip out a pen and start writing down all of the things that I am grateful for (which often includes not being like them:). Gratitude will edge out just about any negative emotion faster than anything else!

6. Avoid. Then there is always the ‘avoid them’ approach. You can love them at a distance, without allowing them in your space. Now, I get some resistance to this one sometimes. People will say ‘but they need your help! they need you to lift them up!’. Some people are open to help, others are not. Sometimes you have to use your best judgement to figure out who is who. In either case, as I said before, if they are in a rant, they probably just want to wallow in it for the moment and that is not the best time. If you struggle yourself with being positive, it is even more important to avoid the Hope snatchers until you are stronger. Having a negative attitude is a habit. Don’t set yourself up if you are still trying to break it. You wouldn’t tell someone who is trying to quit smoking that they should go sit in a smoke filled bar and try to help the patrons quit!

7. Meditate. I don’t mean you have to sit cross-legged and hum or anything, but closing your eyes and having a nice calm image in mind, or having a nice calming and affirming conversation with yourself while taking slow deep breaths really does help! You know how you would mentally calm yourself when kids would get on your last nerve? Yeah, do that.

8. Create your own way. Lastly, create your own way. I have an imaginary ‘warrior’ that I jokingly call upon to kick the negative voices in my own head (hey, it makes me shift, makes me laugh. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). If you love to run, bike, sing, whatever, do that!

Whatever you do, remember:

• it IS a choice!

• “Realistic” is a word used almost exclusively to suck the faith and hope and possibility out of anyone. Remember that there are millions of examples of “unrealistic possibilities” coming true! The lightbulb wasn’t realistic before it was invented, neither was the personal computer, the cell phone, a man walking on the moon…There are millions of people who survived when there was “0 chance”.

• Happiness and hope are available to all of us. Don’t let anyone snatch yours!

(and just in case you’re interested, I just ordered this button! Click on the picture to order yours :)

Life is all about stories. The belief systems we carry with us every day are stories. Some we made up, some others did. Our life is a story. Our life story. We live it daily. Every experience we have, every laugh, every tear has a story. I often say branding is ‘how you show up everyday’. Yes, branding is simply telling a story. The people that you come in contact with every day have their own story. You have no idea what it is often times, but they have one. They have many. Marketing tells a story. It tells us what to expect, what the product or service will do for us, why we should buy, etc. Customer service people tell a story, and they create one at the same time. Every time you interact with another human being, your self, or the world around you, a story is created. I am often challenged when people ask me what I ‘do’. As a marketer, I know than I have to use words that people understand. Words that create an image for them that makes sense and that explains what I do. The truth is, what I want to say is “I help people create and share their own stories”. That is what I do. I am passionate about helping people to live and share their passion. I am passionate about helping people to communicate who they are and share their value. I am passionate about helping people to serve others in all that they do. Marketing, networking, and customer/client/patient interactions. Their stories matter. We love stories. The best books tell stories, the best speakers tell stories. We watch reality TV because we love a good “real” story. So, what does this mean to you?

• I encourage you to think about what your life story is. Think about what you want it to be. Think about the stories that already exist and how sharing them could serve the world.

• The next time you are on facebook, think about what story you could share that could help just one other person. Even if it’s just sharing some crazy thing you or your teen did that might just make someone else feel better knowing they aren’t ‘the only one’. The next time you encounter a customer, or client, or even a clerk who looks like they are having a bad day, ask your self ‘how can I make their story better’. Clearly they have one, you don’t know what it is, but how can you make it just a little bit better? Are you telling your self and your kids (or spouse) that they are terrible? That they are ‘bad’ or they never do anything right? (If you’ve decided that is the story, it will become their story!) When you are marketing your business, ask your self “am I saying what I want to say, or what they need to hear?” Are you trying to serve everyone in one paragraph? With millions of messages swirling around us every day, can they hear yours? You can’t serve them if they can’t hear you. Think about your story, and create one that serves those you want to serve by making it loud and clear. Think about how you show up to those around you. When you go to work each day do people look forward to seeing you? Or dread you coming? Think about those stories in your head

. You know, the ones that say “you can’t, you should, you never, you always…” Are they serving YOU? Ditch the stories that don’t serve you or anyone else! Create stories that do. It’s that simple.

Your creating and living your life story every day. In your personal life, your business life, your family life. Are you living the story that you want to? How can you make it better? Change it, Create new ones, and share them with the world You have amazing gifts, talents and passions. Are you using them? Are you sharing them? What’s your story?

M and M’s and P’s are the key to a more fulfilling life and business!
Listen to the power and importance of being clear in your purpose, passion, mission and message!

Click here to listen!
MMPs

"Who do you think you are?"

How many times have we heard this question? (many of us still have flashbacks from hearing it as a kid!)

It has a negative association doesn’t it? Well have no fear! This post asks it in an entirely different way!.

What I am asking is who do you really think you are?

Do you think that you are ‘just a mom?’ or just a sales rep, or just a _____________?

What is your identity? You see most of us want more out of life. That is human nature. We dream about having this, or doing that. We think "if only…or someday…"

The truth is you have to BE before you can DO before you can HAVE.

Decide who you want to be, not just ‘what you do’.

For many of the folks that I work with think of themselves as ‘what they do’. They see themselves as ‘a massage therapist’ or ‘hair stylist’.

That is great – IF that is really what you want to be!

Is that all you want to be?

For many of these folks, they have goals of creating 6 figure businesses, and great wealth. I encourage them to ‘think bigger’ than just ‘being one thing’ based on what they ‘do’.

This is important for a variety of reasons.

1. You will never be more than you think you are.

2. as long as you see yourself as just a ___________. Your income will match your belief regarding what ‘that person’ can make.

3. When you affirm that is ‘all that you are’, you ensure that is what you will remain!

4. You limit the endless possibilities of other ways that you can utilize your skills and talents to serve the world and create prosperity for yourself, your family and those you choose to share it with.

(In other words, if you are an ‘accountant’ you can only BE an accountant, and earn as much as AN ACCOUNTANT vs. “ I am a business owner” or “I own an accounting firm”.)

I met someone a while back standing outside at an event.

As we all do out of habit, I asked "what do you do?"

he replied "well, I’m unemployed"

I smiled and said, "you don’t DO unemployed. What do you do?"

He looked really confused, so I added "what did you do when you weren’t unemployed?"

He replied that he "did tech support stuff" (hmmm…how empowering is that?)

So I responded "Are you good at it?"

He thought for a second and said "yes, I was"

I replied (smiling) "I would guess that you still are? I mean, you didn’t forget it all when you were laid off did you?"

He looked confused again, and then smiled and said "no, I guess I didn’t".

"So, you are a really good IT guy! You are not just an unemployed guy"

Still looking befuddled, he said "well, yeah I guess so"

Who you THINK you are MATTERS!

Focus on who you are and who you want to be, and be it!

Think about those goals and ask yourself "what do I have to BE to have and do those things?"

You open yourself up to other possibilities by changing the way that you think of who you are, and then finding others ways to DO what you want to do.

Think about how and who you want to serve.

Instead of "I’m a hair stylist" maybe you think of yourself as "someone who loves helping women look and feel their best".

Now you can be open to many many other ways to do that right? You may do that as a hair stylist, you may teach other women to become stylists, or teach women how to look and feel their best at home, or ?

Are you ‘a photographer’ or are you a successful business owner?

Think about how you are limiting yourself by the identity that you have created, and ask "how can I BE more than that?"

Choose to chunk those limitations and look for new possibilities TODAY!

Look for ways to share who you are and what you offer.

Look for opportunities to SHARE your talents and serve the world

(vs..’looking for business’ or ‘looking for a job’)

and watch the world up to you!

Ask yourself today how you can change ‘who you think you are?’

(Please comment! I would love to hear your thoughts!)

A lot of times we make our decisions based on our “inner gremlin”. That’s the voice inside you that says “you could”,  you can’t”,  “who do you think you are?”  etc., etc. We can all come up with the story that we want to to justify the things that we do, but make your choices based on what empowers you, not the voice that defeats you.

Purpose and passion are two things that I talk about and help folks discover and define often. In fact, that is the foundation for my coaching groups. Why?

Because it has EVERYthing to do with everything in my opinion!

We spend so much time working, creating our business, doing business, trying to figure out how to get more business, etc, yet at the end of the day all too often we feel like an exhausted hamster running the wheel!

Whether it’s because we built our business simply based on “I’m good at that” or based on “this will make money”, the end result is that we are often unfulfilled. I learned the hard way that a full bank account and fulfillment are very different things. Financial success all by itself just isn’t enough.

We get discouraged, burned out, and frustrated. It doesn’t have to be that way!

We tend to think work has to be hard, and we are supposed to ‘have fun’ when we are ‘off’. In fact, when I decided to ditch my career to pursue my passion two years ago, my (then) best friend said:

“This is NOT the time! There are plenty of people who go to work everyday at a job they hate and then go home at 5 to be happy! There will be plenty of time to live your dream later!”

How sad is that?

Sadly, she was right!

So, what do you do about it?

1. Get clear on what you feel your purpose is on this planet.

2. Think about how ‘what you do’ serves that purpose (write it down).

3. Make a list of the things that you LOVE to do! Not just hobbies, etc., but the things that make you feel good. What makes you feel alive? Are you a problem solver? creative? Think of those little things and write them down.

4. Incorporate more of that you love to do in “what you do”

5. Start your day with something that you love to do! It will give you energy for the things that you don’t!

6. Change the way that you think! Gratitude is more powerful than most people realize! Just shifting from “I have to do a client proposal” to “I get to do a client proposal” makes a tremendous difference!! Try it!

“We can’t just sit around doing what we love. We have to work”

Sound familiar?

Actually that isn’t entirely true. Changing the way we think about those things that we don’t love to do, can change whether it feels like work! Changing the way we view our work, really does make a BIG difference!

Also changing how and when we DO our ‘work’ makes a big difference!

I often quote Zig Ziglar in saying “If you’ve gotta eat a frog, you don’t want to look at that sucker for very long. He ain’t gonna get any prettier!”

In other words, go ahead and do what you are dreading first!

However! I also say start out your day doing something that makes you feel good!

So, start out your day reading, enjoying your favorite coffee on the deck, watching a funny video, listening to your favorite tune, or whatever.

Then, hit those “frogs’ (before you dive into the rest of your day), and then do something that makes you feel good!

Think of it like a sandwich! It’s a whole lot easier to eat a piece of lettuce when it’s sandwiched in with stuff you like, right?

Remember, doing what you love isn’t lazy, or narcissistic, or irresponsible or any of those ‘bad words’. It simply means that you are aware of what fuels you, and you are smart enough to know that you need fuel right?

So if you love talking on the phone, or problem solving, or organizing, find ways to do more of that in your business. Then look at the things that you are telling your self that you don’t love, and ask yourself if there is a better way to think about them.

For example, instead of thinking “I’m creating a marketing plan”, I think “I am helping someone live their dream! Helping them to share their purpose, passions and talents with the world!”

Instead of thinking “I have to pay bills!” choose to think “Yippeee! I have the money to pay bills!”

Life is meant to be LIVED and LOVED and enjoyed! You were given your passions and talents for a reason! Discover them, and discover a life beyond success. Discover a life of fulfillment and significance!

What are your passions?

I recently posted this question on facebook:

I am looking for 10 people who are willing to spend 30 min/day or less to be ridiiculously off the charts happy and filled w/joy beyond their imagination. Who’s in?

Out of about 1000 people, I got about 20 who ‘raised their hand, YES!’

(You might think that is a silly question, but the truth is that we have all met people who are ‘too busy being miserable to be happy!”)

For the rest of us who really do want to be happy, and want it enough to be willing to do something to make it happen, it can  be achieved.

Unfortunately, we often dismiss things that are simple! We think ‘it can’t be that simple’, when in fact, it is!

I know some of you may be thinking “you don’t know my spouse, or my boss…” or have financial issues, health problems, etc., but you really can be happy no matter what is going on in your life!

I won’t go into the mountains of research that proves it here, but the secret is…gratitude.

Yep, that’s it! Gratitude! Proven to be more powerful than love or any other emotion, gratitude is the golden goose, the holy grail, and the secret!

It’s not as easy as saying thank you here and there, or listing what you are grateful for at Thanksgiving, but it is simple nonetheless.

The key is to be in a state of gratitude. A state of feeling it, as well as thinking it.

(When you are in a state of gratitude you cannot be depressed, or sad, or angry. Both emotions simply cannot exist in the same place at the same time.)

So, I challenged those on Facebook who ‘raised their hand’, to try it!

Here is what I posted on Facebook:

This will sound absurdly simple – don’t dismiss it because of it’s simplicity!

As promised, this won’t cost you anything but a few minutes of your time a few minutes a day, but you HAVE to commit to it! Doing it once won’t work!

I have proven this method, and the person who shared it with me has proven it over and over and over. But you have to DO IT!
I absolutely promise you will notice a difference in just a week, and your life will change beyond belief if you do this for 30 days!

(You will not only be happier, but healthier, and wealthier too!)

The trick of course is sticking to it!

First you need a small notebook. Preferably one that you can carry w/you everywhere!

Write down on a scale of 1-10 how happy you feel right now in these areas:
personal/self
career/business
family/relationships
money/material things

Then,

Write down 10 things that you are grateful for 6 times/day.

That’s it!

Yes, I told you it was simple!
6 times a day takes commitment though!

• If you miss a few keep going! Try to do a minimum of 4
• It can be anything!
• You can repeat the same things,
• you can list things you don’t have yet, things others have received or not yet rec’d (for example ‘I am thankful for grandma being completely healed and well)
• The trick is you have to ‘feel’ the gratitude as you write!
• Yes you have to write it! thinking it isn’t enough ;)

Please comment here if you are willing to take the challenge!

Do it! Start right now!
I absolutely promise you will be blown away by the power of it!

Are you in??

Click here if you would like to join in the facebook discussion as well!

This video started out as an explanation for why I am now doing “mobile videos”. What it really comes down to however, is not ‘waiting to be perfect’.  While you are waiting to be perfect, you are keeping others from enjoying the value of your unique gifts and talents! How can you let go of perfectionism and give value to others today?

Click here to view the embedded video.

I have no doubt that people look at some of the things that I ‘put out there’ and wonder, ‘what does that have to do with marketing? Or with business, or social media, or…”

Well, I can explain…

I’ve learned a few things in my time here on this planet, and if there is one thing that I am absolutely convinced of, it’s that you will never feel fulfilled if you aren’t living your purpose. There are many who go to work every day, maybe have money, fame, accolades, whatever, but deep down inside we have an innate need to make a difference. We all need meaning in our lives. We need more than security and success, we need significance.

Ironically, not only is that the secret to fulfillment, it IS the secret to success! By recognizing our unique purpose, passions and talents, we discover the very thing that will bring us success AND significance! (Is God smart or what?:)

In the book ‘Tribes’, Seth Godin says “it’s not about getting your message out more, it’s about saying something that matters. It’s about getting people to care”

“Be Remarkable”, he says.

We are often stumped by that. How do you do that? We ask. There are many ways to be remarkable in terms of what we do and how we do it. The first and single most important thing that makes your business remarkable however,
is YOU!

When you discover deep down why you do what you do, when you discover the ‘seed of that desire’ as I call it, that is the ‘golden goose’.

You were given your passions and talents for a reason! To serve your purpose. Yeah, you might be thinking “I just want to make money”. The truth is, there are a LOT of ways to make money! Choosing the way that honors you, and what you’ve been given is the secret.

Being very clear about WHY you do what you is incredibly important!
Sharing why you do what you do, is just as important!

You see, there are a lot of people who do a lot of things. Why you do what you do matters.

Marketing, social media, all of it, is about people. People connect with people. They connect with emotions and memories and all sorts of things beyond “price and product”.

Yes, there a lot of people who ‘do what you do’, but no one else has YOUR story!

Social media and even ‘marketing’ is about creating connections. Connections with you and your business. Connections to your story!

The world is a busy, noisy place. When you share your story, you give people the opportunity to ‘hear you’, to make a connection. It helps YOU to stand out, and it helps them to HEAR you.

I recently had a conversation with a young woman who has just started selling life insurance. A dear friend asked me to let her ‘practice her pitch’ on me. For some reason I resisted the urge to say “pitching is for baseball’, and agreed ;)

After listening to the typical ‘this is how they taught us to sell’ presentation, complete with the little presentation book, I pointed out a variety of things. One was that she started out by saying “First, I’m going to tell you about me and my family, then I’m going to ask you about yours…”

She went on to say that she spent many years in law enforcement and had recently chosen to sell insurance because she wanted a better financial position for her family.

My brain responded by saying “so you wanted to make more money, and now you’re here to make it off of me, I’m touched!” I know that sounds terribly snarky, but it is truly what I was thinking.

I was feeling snarky because I was being ‘sold to’, and no one likes to be ‘sold to’! The interesting part is this…

After the presentation, we were just chatting, and I asked her about her ‘real story’. As I ask all of my clients, and others when I have the opportunity to, “What is it in your life’s history that makes you feel like this is important? That makes you believe that it is important to do what you do?”

Her answer:

“I got pregnant and married at 18. My husband died in a car crash when I was 19. If he had not had insurance. I don’t know where I would be today. It enabled me to go back to school, to have a career and raise my child. Not only have I seen its importance in my own life, but as a law enforcement officer, I saw what can happen every day. I saw it on the job, and in my job. I’ve had many coworkers whose wives who are now widows and whose life insurance made a huge difference in their childrens’ future.”

Now that’s a story!

I don’t know about you, but that made me a WHOLE lot more interested in life insurance! It made me feel a whole new connection to her too!

Think about it. What is your story?

Need help figuring that out?
I would love to help!
You see, my story is that I spent many years living an unfulfilled life, and my purpose and passion is to help you to avoid the same. My purpose and passion is to help you discover your story, create the story that you want your life to be, and to share it with the world!

If you would like to talk about it, feel free to call me at 427-7770, email me, facebook me. or tweet me…contact me however, and wherever you like.

We all hear a lot of voices on a daily bases. Many of them serve us, most us them to do not.

We hear the voices of the media, friends and family, business associates, clients, customers, and then there’s our own. All to often the voice that we hear the loudest is the one that says:

"you can’t do that! Who do you think you are? Why would anyone want you? Nobody’s going to buy that, pay for that, etc." And my all time favorite, "Be realistic!"

(Remember that nothing is ‘realistic’ before it happens! Electricity wasn’t realistic, the pc wasn’t realistic, equal rights, the ability to reach millions of people via a blog or video from your living room…)

I call that "inside’ voice my gremlin. We all have one!

The next time yours rears his ugly head, I encourage you to actively do something about it. Don’t just push it aside, or try not to hear it, take action!

Many of my coaching clients have a picture of my "O power girl" in their journals. She is there to remind them that those voices lie! And to actively stop them in their tracks. She is there at the waiting, ready to ‘kick that gremlins butt’ when he shows up! I encourage you to actively use this visual, create your own, or "bleep" that voice when it shows up! Write that nasty thought on a piece of paper and strike it out with a big red pen, or ball it up and throw it away!

It is a liar, and a thief. It is a dream killer, and a vampire that is holding you back and robbing you and the world of your full potential!

Remember, your car has all that it needs to somewhere. It has the power, the gas, etc. But it’s not going anywhere until you get in the driver’s seat, put it in gear, and step on the gas!

So, go kick some gremlin butt! Bleep as you need to, and step on the gas!

Enjoy the ride!