Whether you are a fan of the American TV series “American Idol” or not, there are some very important lessons that we can all learn from it.

While watching the show with my kids last night, it occurred to me that there are three things that the judges consistently say week after week, season after season. For ten seasons this hasn’t changed, even though the judges have.

1. Be You.

This one is HUGE. In working with small business owners and independent professionals, this is so often overlooked. Like the contestants on the show, most people focus on the talent, the appearances, etc.

The truth is that being who you are, and showing who you are, is often ‘the missing piece’.  Sadly, most people are too busy trying to figure out ‘what will work’ or what will sell.

People who are willing to be themselves stand out, just by the sheer nature of who they are. NO two people are the same. I’ve said it before: the world is full of vanilla. When you are vanilla, you don’t stand out, you have a lot more competition and you create a lot more stress for yourself. Be willing to be chunky monkey, or rocky road.

2. Make it your own.

When you are true to who you are, and aren’t trying to copy someone else, you have something to offer of unique value. When there are dozens of other people just like you, there is no reason to pick you. When you are no different than any one, most people will either a) choose the cheapest one, or b) choose the one that stands out.

3. Give it your all.

This is about not holding back and Having the courage to put your “self” out there

Not being you, not making it your own comes from that voice that is afraid people won’t like you, or pick you. The irony is that in most cases, it is the only way that they will. When you try to ‘fit in’ you don’t stand out.  When you shy away out of fear of rejection, you also hide yourself from those who would give you approval.

 

One of the most important things  for all of us, is our brand. Most people think of businesses when they hear the word ‘brand’, but we all have one. It is our image, it is how we appear to others, how we ‘show up’ in all that we do, and that includes our charisma (or lack thereof).

Many people don’t like to network, or even to engage on social networks. They don’t think they have any charisma or “wow factor”. They call themselves shy, or introverted. They often think of themselves as ordinary, or even boring.

The truth is, we are all extraordinary. We were all born that way. When we were babies we could light a whole room with a toothless smile or a giggle, and make even the grumpiest grin. Somewhere along the way, many of us lost it. Somehow, some way, or someone ‘taught us’ to cower, or to ‘be seen and not heard’, or to shrink into a smaller version of ourselves. Perhaps middle or high school taught you that attracting attention wasn’t a good thing.

Whatever the reason, you still have it. You can dig it out, dust it off and light up that room again.

This post was inspired by a great article in Oprah’s magazine. Martha Beck wrote about the ‘it factor’ and used a great example that I just had to share.

She wrote about UNO, the beagle who won the Westminster Best in Show in 2008. This is my version of her story, in my words, along with some of hers: 

Uno was the first of his breed to win the prestigious Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. His victory was remarkable because beagles are so…basic. They’re the white cotton T-shirts of dogdom—they’ve got nothing to brush, fluff, or style—but when Uno took Best in Show, the crowd leaped up in a wild ovation. Newscasters announced his victory with goofy smiles. Everyone loved Uno’s extraordinary brand of ordinariness.

What can we learn from Uno?

1. Strike a pose: Your body affects your energy The whole word “pose” gives me heartburn. It sounds so fake and contrived. The truth is however, our bodies are always in one position or another. Whether we are aware or not, our physical posture affects our inner emotions, and what we project to the world. It works both ways.

I watched a Tony Robbins video once where he illustrated this well. There was a woman in the audience who had a history of depression. He asked her if she could close her eyes and ‘feel that state’. As she did, her posture clearly changed dramatically. It works both ways. Not only does our posture change to reflect how we feel on the inside, we can change the way that we feel inside by changing our posture.

When I was in high school my mother made me participate in beauty pageants. This couldn’t have been more “not me”, but nonetheless…I vividly remember one particular contest. I had no desire whatsoever to win, nor did I expect to (I was convinced my friend Samantha would for sure!). I was nervous however, and my mom told me  “just pretend like you are Erica Kane. Walk out there like she would” (my mom was a big All My Children fan, so I knew exactly what Erica Kane looked like). Even though my interest wasn’t in winning, it was in not falling down or making a fool of myself, so the minute I stepped onto the stage, this came back to me and I instantly transformed into my version of “Erika”. It immediately shifted me from self-conscious to self-assured.

Here’s a challenge: For the rest of today, stand, sit, and walk like the most charismatic person you know. Notice the moments when you feel foolish or embarrassed about projecting charisma. Those are the times when you have forgotten who you are. Persist for a few more days and you’ll discover that charismatic body language is a self-reinforcing cycle. As your physical bearing becomes more aligned with your real self, other people will begin noticing you more. Don’t let this affect your new behavior (in other words, don’t revert to slumping). Ultimately, you must become confident enough to drop your pose of unimportance for good.

2. Let go of doubt

When that time comes to step up, step. You can’t discover new oceans if you are clinging to the shore. When that moment comes to step forward, let go of the doubt (the moment of absolute certainty will never come).

Release doubt simply because doubt isn’t useful when [you're] on the brink. For instance, once Uno was onstage, he never seemed to worry that he might not be a champion (even though no beagle had ever won much of anything). His certainty eventually converted everyone, including the judges.

3. Focus on others

There is nothing more compelling than this in my opinion. Think of people that you have met that are charismatic, or people that you have seen. They are the people that can talk to you for 2 minutes in a crowded room and make you feel like you are the only one there. They are the people that can walk onto a seminar stage, quickly assess who is there and what they need, and deliver what is needed. They aren’t stressing about what they look like, or even whether anyone will buy their product after, they are 100% focused on providing value to others. They are the people at the cocktail party or business event that DON’T introduce themselves and shove their business card at you in the same breath.

The Westminster Dog Show is a multibreed festival of self-consciousness. On videos of the event you can see everyone, human and animal, thinking, “Are they watching me? Can they see my hindquarters? How’s my haircut?” Everyone, that is, except Uno. His eyes are on the crowd. When they cheer, he cheers back. When he howls to the judges, “Yo! How you doin’?,” the normally staid officials grin like kids. Uno is making the single most charismatic move possible: He’s shining his attention upon the beings around him.

4. Stand Your Ground

Being a giver doesn’t mean you cower and let people walk all over you. Being confident enough to gracefully smile and say “no thank you” or otherwise stand your ground commands respect.

Just because charismatic people focus intensely on others doesn’t mean they forget themselves. Quite the contrary. The very essence of charisma is projecting unbounded awareness of others while setting rock-solid boundaries. When an aggressive reporter pushed a microphone into Uno’s face, Uno unapologetically crunched it with his teeth before moving on to more courteous admirers. He showed none of the angry, aggressive boundary setting born of low confidence. Like any true charismatic, he had mastered the art of the clean response—in his case, a cheerful chomp.

If you are thinking “yeah, but…I’m not that glamorous, or special or…” remember this:

neither are beagles.

Uno outshined the glamorous and perfectly coiffed poodles, the buff shepherd and countless others who ‘were all that’.

Why? Maybe it was because he didn’t think he was “all that”, maybe it was because he was more more focused on giving the crowd his very best.

I hope this inspires you to recognize that each and every one of us has unique gifts, talents, and yes, charisma.

I believe that is it there, within all of us, or in the great words of Marianne Williamson:

“…It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The world will never have another you. There is only one…or should I say,

“uno”

 

There’s a lot of talk about social media these days. Lots of people jump in, others are still ‘deciding whether they have time’.  Most see it as ‘another new thing’, and many see it as ‘one more thing they have to do or learn’.

There are lots of people out there teaching ‘how to’s’ and selling the latest greatest apps and tools to leverage social media without having to ‘do anything’ differently. People talk about ‘Personal Branding’ and all sorts of buzz words, but it’s really about YOU!

One of the first things that I do with clients is talk to them about their ‘story’. Who they are, why they do what they do, what their true purpose is, and passions are.

To learn facebook?

Yes, to learn facebook! You see it’s about more than facebook, or business fan pages, or twitter, or blogs, or logos or any of that. It’s about you…It’s about your voice, and what you are saying.

Social media is an incredibly powerful way to reach others so that we can serve them. It has truly leveled the playing field. But, it’s not just the latest greatest marketing channel, or fad. It’s not advertising, or business as usual in a new place. There is a lot more going on here. There is a lot more to it than websites and networks. The ‘place’ hasn’t just changed, the context has changed, the culture has changed, the message has changed, the audience has changed, the voice has changed…

(this is where I veer radically off course with all of those other social media folks, techy types, marketing people, and anything you might have learned in Business 101…buckle your seatbelt!)

We are living in a revolution…

First we had the industrial revolution. We had mass production, with it’s assembly lines of ‘don’t talk just do your job’, and then the Corporate world of, “Repeat after me: I will not have any ideas or voice of my own. I will wear a blue suit….”

So long to meeting the vendors on the street, and talking about their goods and services. So long to conversation.

We had mass media, and mass marketing. We had a few TV channels, and newspapers, etc. Entertainment was limited and if we wanted it, we had to endure the advertising. Since advertising was expensive, and only came in so many ‘channels’ it had to be very broad and vanilla and appeal to everybody. And if wanted to watch or listen, we had to hear it.

“So the customers who once looked you in the eye while hefting your wares in the market were transformed into consumers. In the words of industry analyst Jerry Michalski, ‘ a consumer was no more than a gullet whose only purpose in life is to gulp products and crap cash.’ The power swung so decisively to the supply side that ‘market’ became a verb: something you do to customers.”

Advertising and marketing aren’t a bad thing! We needed to know what was available. We wanted to know what our choices were.  We weren’t very well connected. If we had a ‘friend in the business’ we would choose them, but we simply didn’t know ‘one of everybody’ so for everything else, we relied on advertising and salespeople and hoped for the best.

The true definition of marketing is ‘what happens between the creation of the product and the sale.” The problem was ‘what was happening between the product and the sale’. Unfortunately, a lot of people abused us along the way. They lied, they interrupted, they spammed, cold called, screamed, etc. We got on the do not call list, celebrated the growing list of ‘spam filters’, got TIVO and so on.

At the same time we were getting sick of being lied to there, the internet was growing. Slowly and quietly at first. Limited to techy types, and then slowly reaching out into the homes of everyone everywhere. Then came easier ways to use it. Free blog sites, and social networks and so on. Now anyone could have a voice!  That grew slowly but surely and still does, every single day. Now, anyone who wants to can share their message with the world, and whoever wants to listen, can.

Adding to our frustration with the mass ‘everything’ mentality, and the corporate clones and robotic speak, along came the Enron’s and the Big Banks, and the big bailouts, etc. Now the word “Corporate’ became synonymous with crook (whether it should or not). 

We don’t like having marketing shoved down our throats, we don’t like the big voice-less Corporate Wall, and guess what? We don’t have to take it…

Blogs, Facebook, twitter, and other social mediums erupt…

We have a voice. All of us! As customers, clients, consumers, as entrepreneurs and business owners.

• We can choose what to listen to.
• We can choose from hundreds of TV channels and radio stations, etc.
• We can also choose from millions of blogs, and people having two way conversations about anything we could possibly want to talk about.

Now, because the quarantine on ‘voice’ has been lifted, we kind of like it! Now not only do we have many choices and no longer have to just pick “beaded or non-beaded jewelry’”, but we also get to hear the voice behind it. Kind of like the old days where you knew about the jewelry maker, or the shop owner. They had a personality! We like that. We are humans after-all, not robots.

As business owners, this is great news!  You don’t have to do a press release and pray that the media gods find you worthy. You don’t have to be able to afford crazy advertising prices, or buy lists of people to spam! You don’t have to ‘fake it til you make it!’

We truly can create not only a business that we love, but that customers will love, just by listening to the conversations, and choosing to let our personality show through. By putting YOU in your business, allowing those who like you, find you.

Whether online or off,  it’s kind of like a street fair…

A couple of years ago, we had a street fair here. It wasn’t organized by ‘committee’ and so without regulation, two different businesses gave two different hot dog vendors permission to park on their property during the event. They happened to be directly across the street from each other.

One was a guy from New York with a typical cart. He was cordial, but not what I’d call friendly (not here in the south anyway!). He sold a name brand hot dog with the usual condiments.

The other was a woman who although only barely 5ft tall, had a personality bigger than a sumo wrestler! She was fun loving and flamboyant. Her cart had a hot pink umbrella, hot pink drink coolers, and  homemade condiments. Her hot dogs were the same brand, and a few cents more in price.

What a great example of ‘pull vs. push’! No one chasing anyone down the street with flyers, or brochures, no screaming through bull horns. Everybody simply chose whichever one they wanted. The ‘personality’ that resonated with them! As people walked by, she cheerfully spoke, acknowledged the kids, laughed, etc. He sat on his stool and served hot dogs.

People did go to both. Some may have chosen his because they didn’t want to wait in line at hers, or maybe because they didn’t like hot pink and personality. Who knows! It didn’t take an accountant however to see what the market preferred! I don’t know how much of it was her personality, or how much was just having a personality, but not having one clearly wasn’t the winner!

So what’s the moral of the story?

• Create a business that you are passionate about (it’s more fun AND it will show!)
• Let it show! You will attract the customers that you are meant to serve.
• Let us hear your ‘voice’, and listen to ours. We like that.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts!

 

As many of you know, I launched a 6 week group coaching program tonight called “2010 Vision”.

Getting Clarity in your business and getting out of overwhelm and into a do-able marketing plan is the purpose. I was so excited all day that I could hardly stand it! I cleaned my office, rearranged it and even accidentally went to a meeting at Town Hall in hot pink polka dotted socks! (you have to laugh!:)

My dear friend “The Fly Lady” kindly send information about it to her email subscribers about an hour or so before we started at 9pm. Now, for those of you who don’t know, The Fly Lady has nearly 600,000 subscribers on her email list!

So, as I was watching the clock waiting to begin, emails and registrations started coming in. Right up until we started at 9!

I was able to get links to the call out to a few, but not all. Since I intentionally make the groups small (so we can have a mastermind and people can share and interact), it didn’t take but a few to fill it up!

So, in order to serve everyone who wants to participate, I am adding a Wednesday morning group AND a Wednesday evening group that will start next week (unless I get really eager folks ready to register in time to roll tomorrow night! I’m ready if you are!
The morning group will be at 10am, and the evening at 9pm EST.

If you would like to join, please go here to Get Started

(Please note that the registration page will take you to the payment page and that page takes a few seconds to load!)

 

There is no shortage of people looking for work, or businesses looking for more business these days!
We often talk about wearing different ‘hats’ in business, but this post asks

“What shoes are you wearing?”

Now before all of my fashionista friends freak out, here’s the disclaimer: This is is a metaphorical question! (I am not suggesting that anyone literally wear hiking boots to work! Although it may serve as a powerful reminder!)

Plenty of people want more business and just as many (or more?) want a job. Yet I am astounded by the number of people who are metaphorically sitting around in their slippers or flip flops wondering why they aren’t getting what they want.

There are different times and seasons for everybody and every business. Perhaps you’ve been in business a long time and thought that by now you would be able to rake in the cash while strolling down the boardwalk in your sandals. Perhaps you became an accidental business owner (read: lost your job and decided to be independent). Whatever the case, here you are!

You know you have to wear different “hats” as a business owner, but at different times in your business you need “different shoes”.

Dress Shoes: If you are a new business or reinventing yourself, you may need to be focused building your credibility.


Unique Shoes: Do you have a brand? Your brand is your image and most small businesses don’t have the ‘brand image’ they think they do! (a logo alone does not a brand make!)


Snazzy Shoes: Do you need to be creating awareness and attracting attention for your business?


Hiking Boots: Are you figuring out your plan and strategy? Are you really digging in and finding those that you should serve and the best way to do that?

Sneakers: If you have a loyal following you may just need to get out and hit the sidewalk! Get face to face, ask how you can do more for them or how you can earn their referrals.



No matter where you are in your business, this isn’t the time to sit around in your slippers and complain!

This is a GREAT time to be a small business owner! Marketing and many other needed services have never been more affordable, and it has never been easier to reach countless people than it is today.

But you need the right mindset and the right focus.

You need the right “shoes”.

 

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