We all know people who some would call “pollyanna” and others that would be [kindly] labeled ‘negative nellies’. There are, of course a whole host of others in between (drama queens, Debbie downer, etc).

I fall on the higher end of the ‘positive’ spectrum, most of the time, but I didn’t used to. Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t just ‘born that way’ and the excuse ‘I was raised that way’ doesn’t fly too well with me either. I dispel both of those myths.

So why is it that some people are positive and some are negative?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first is awareness. Most positive people choose to be. Negative folks are often unaware that they are, or at least they believe that it is their circumstances, not ‘them’.

They are the ‘realistic people’…

They are the:

• ‘you have to be prepared for the worst’ people,

• the ‘don’t set yourself up for failure people’ and

• the ‘that’s impossible’ people

…all rolled up into one. Unfortunately, those people live and breathe on this planet with the rest of us, and in order to preserve their belief that it’s all out of their control, they need to suck the rest of us into their stinking thinking. They aren’t necessarily aware in any way, they just know that the way they think is ‘the right way’ and even if it’s not, they don’t want to hear it.

They wrap themselves up in a blanket of ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ and loads of evidence to support their belief.

They are prepared, and they are not ‘kidding themselves’.

They are ruled by fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of hurt and sometimes, fear of taking responsibility.

The ‘reality’ is that there is more than enough evidence that supports the power of positive thinking. There is more than enough evidence to prove that the world is filled with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, those things are only visible to those who choose to see it. It is invisible to those who are convinced that it isn’t there.

So what do you do?

How do you protect yourself from the Hope Snatchers?

1. First comes faith. In fact, this post should probably be called Invasion of the Faith Snatchers, but I didn’t want folks to get all tripped up on that word. For some that makes their head go off and imagine evangelicals and that isn’t what I mean at all. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in mankind, the world, etc. With faith there is hope and possibility. Without it?

2. Smile and silently say to yourself “they are simply unaware” (thanks to Leslie Flowers for that mantra. I have worn it out! :)

3. Choose whether to engage. In some cases, I think people need to be called out. If you know them well, believe that they just don’t realize how negative they are, or simply feel like you have to, call them on it. Do it nicely, but say something like “wow, did anything good happen today?” Or direct them to shift by saying something like “so what can you do about it?” Or, you can politely say something like “I understand your point of view, mine is a little different, but I can appreciate yours…”

4. Tune OUT. More often than not, this may be the best way to go. As a friend of mine once pointed out “do you really think they are going to listen to you and say Oh my God! How could I have been so wrong all these years. I had no idea! Thank you for saving me!” So, tuning them out will preserve your sanity and save you from pounding your head into the wall. Unless they are choosing to be in a conversation about the value of being positive, the moment in time that they are in full blown ‘realistic mode’ is probably not the time to try to change them. Nod, smile and sing “Over the rainbow” in your head until their lips stop moving.

5. Detox. If you walk away and find that in spite of your best efforts, you were infected anyway (it is contagious afterall!), then immediately detox. Do NOT allow yourself to play it over and over in your head. Turn on some music, play a funny or inspiring video. For me the fastest way is to whip out a pen and start writing down all of the things that I am grateful for (which often includes not being like them:). Gratitude will edge out just about any negative emotion faster than anything else!

6. Avoid. Then there is always the ‘avoid them’ approach. You can love them at a distance, without allowing them in your space. Now, I get some resistance to this one sometimes. People will say ‘but they need your help! they need you to lift them up!’. Some people are open to help, others are not. Sometimes you have to use your best judgement to figure out who is who. In either case, as I said before, if they are in a rant, they probably just want to wallow in it for the moment and that is not the best time. If you struggle yourself with being positive, it is even more important to avoid the Hope snatchers until you are stronger. Having a negative attitude is a habit. Don’t set yourself up if you are still trying to break it. You wouldn’t tell someone who is trying to quit smoking that they should go sit in a smoke filled bar and try to help the patrons quit!

7. Meditate. I don’t mean you have to sit cross-legged and hum or anything, but closing your eyes and having a nice calm image in mind, or having a nice calming and affirming conversation with yourself while taking slow deep breaths really does help! You know how you would mentally calm yourself when kids would get on your last nerve? Yeah, do that.

8. Create your own way. Lastly, create your own way. I have an imaginary ‘warrior’ that I jokingly call upon to kick the negative voices in my own head (hey, it makes me shift, makes me laugh. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t). If you love to run, bike, sing, whatever, do that!

Whatever you do, remember:

• it IS a choice!

• “Realistic” is a word used almost exclusively to suck the faith and hope and possibility out of anyone. Remember that there are millions of examples of “unrealistic possibilities” coming true! The lightbulb wasn’t realistic before it was invented, neither was the personal computer, the cell phone, a man walking on the moon…There are millions of people who survived when there was “0 chance”.

• Happiness and hope are available to all of us. Don’t let anyone snatch yours!

(and just in case you’re interested, I just ordered this button! Click on the picture to order yours :)

Zig Ziglar said “Failure is merely an event…it adds to your experience…it is an attitude”. It seems like everywhere I turn these days I am coming across people who are having extremely hard times. We too are feeling VERY challenged right now.
Notice I said we are “feeling challenged”? You see, I refuse to state that anything in our lives is a “fact” or a “statement”. Why? Because how I see it, feel about it, and affirm it determines how it WILL be. You see, time moves along. So how things are in this moment does not determine how it will be an hour from now, or tomorrow, or the next day. MY attitude however, absolutely will!

Many people need lots of things right now, but I dare say that the fundamental need in our world right now is hope.

Faith is the only anecdote for failure!

We all get to choose whether we are going to think about how bad things are, or affirm that “they are getting better”. I know, “just saying it won’t change anything.” Actually, if you believe it, it will. If you really believe it, you will begin to look for ways to make it better! To paraphrase the great Zig Ziglar, “Do you believe that there is something that you could do today that would make your life worse? Then there MUST be something that you can do to make it better!”
But you won’t even try, if you don’t believe it is possible!

Think of the difficult times you have had in your life, that we as a country have had in our history. They have ALWAYS been temporary! They have always gotten better. These times will be no different.

Do you find it hard to have hope? Look for reasons to! You will always find what you are looking for! If you are looking for evidence that times are tough, you will always find it. If you look for reasons to hope, you will find those too!

Where to start?
1. Gratitude…
Not “I know, I know, I have a lot to be thankful for, but…”
Get a small notebook and write down 10 things that you have to be thankful for at least 3 times a day. Yes, at least 3 times a day, and yes, you have to write them down. Don’t believe it will work? Try it! The more that you are thankful for, the more you will be given to be thankful for!

2. Journal…about the times in your life that you had no hope and how amazing they turned out. Write about the wonderful things and people in your life that you never even imagined you would have.
If you are currently journaling about how tough things are, leave space at the end for the “rest of the story”. Leave “room” to come back and write about what a blessing it turned out to be. Then, take it one step further…imagine how amazing the “ending” could be. Go ahead and “make up the ending”.

3. Look for ways to help others. No matter how much you are struggling. or how little you have, there is ALWAYS something that you can give to someone else. Even if it is just a word of encouragement. This is truly powerful. Don’t disregard it! You will create an immediate shift in your thoughts, emotions and potential when you stop looking at yourself and start looking for ways to help others. Tell that pregnant girl who looks down how beautiful she is, ask that grumpy clerk “what’s wrong” and tell her that you believe that her day is going to get better. Tell that child that just made a huge mess “building something” what an “amazing imagination” they have and how “cool” that is!

4. Turn off the news! Stop feeding yourself “food” that makes you sick! Look for healthier choices! Find music, videos, and stories that will “feed your soul”. They are everywhere! I have a 9 yr old who is very sensitive and gets easily upset when someone says something ugly to him. We have secretly decided that “we have an invisible shield”. So when we are confronted (as we all inevitably are)with negative people, stories, etc., we imagine a clear shield coming over us (kind of like Buzz lightyears helmet). You CAN be standing in front of someone and not “really hear” what they are saying. You can! Just smile and go through your “thankful fors” in your head!

5. You can’t just eliminate negative thoughts. “The universe abhors a vacuum”. Make the conscious choice to affirm the way you want to be. If you tell yourself daily that you are “always late…totally stressed out…completely unorganized,etc”, you will be! Instead affirm to yourself that “I am getting better and better every day! I am getting more organized, more punctual, more successful” or whatever it is that you want to be. Imagine things the way that you want them to be! Visualize what that will “look like”. Visualization is far more powerful that I can cover here.

Just do it!

Imagine what you could do if you didn’t believe that you couldn’t! Do you believe that you “can’t” because of a lack of money, or college education? Watch this…

teen millionaires

This time of year we all reflect on what we are thankful for. Even though many are facing challenging times, the luckiest of us have the capacity to be thankful. Few however, know how incredibly powerful gratitude can be. Gratitude is nature’s greatest equalizer. No matter who you are, how much you have, where you came from, you can conquer sadness, depression and stress (among other things) by choosing to be thankful. Greater than any antidepressant, gratitude is the ultimate cure because sadness and gratitude cannot coexist in the same space at the same time. In other words, sadness cannot exist in a grateful heart.
Gratitude also puts us on a path to attract abundance unlike anything else.

Hope is sometimes more challenging for us. We are often bombarded by the “news” and it’s “predictions” of extended recessions, increasing layoffs, disappointing shopping seasons, and the like. It’s easy to not only lose sight of what we have to be thankful for, but to find hope of greater things to come.

I think Andy Andrews says it best (from AndyAndrews.com)

In addition, I have discovered proof of hope that has consistently lifted my heart, mind, and spirit to a point of forward motion. Very simply, it is this:

* Even in the worst of times, I must remember that I am still breathing.
* If I am still breathing, that means that I am still here.
* If I am still here, that means that I have not completed what I was put here to do.
* If I have not completed what I was put here to do, that means that my very purpose has not been fulfilled.
* If my very purpose has not been fulfilled, that means that the most important part of my life has yet to be lived.
* If the most important part of my life has yet to be lived, then it doesn’t really matter how old I am or how broke I am, how long I’ve tried or how depressed I might be … Here, at last, is proof that the best part of my life is ahead of me! Without a doubt, there is more laughter to come, more success in my future, more children to teach, more friends to influence. There is more.

There is more … and the promise is proven by the simple fact that I am still breathing. I am still here.

for this perspective, for this hope, and for the generosity of Andy Andrews for posting it, and my ability to receive it, I am thankful.

This time of year we all reflect on what we are thankful for. Even though many are facing challenging times, the luckiest of us have the capacity to be thankful. Few however, know how incredibly powerful gratitude can be. Gratitude is nature’s greatest equalizer. No matter who you are, how much you have, where you came from, you can conquer sadness, depression and stress (among other things) by choosing to be thankful. Greater than any antidepressant, gratitude is the ultimate cure because sadness and gratitude cannot coexist in the same space at the same time. In other words, sadness cannot exist in a grateful heart.
Gratitude also puts us on a path to attract abundance unlike anything else.

Hope is sometimes more challenging for us. We are often bombarded by the “news” and it’s “predictions” of extended recessions, increasing layoffs, disappointing shopping seasons, and the like. It’s easy to not only lose sight of what we have to be thankful for, but to find hope of greater things to come.

I think Andy Andrews says it best (from AndyAndrews.com)

In addition, I have discovered proof of hope that has consistently lifted my heart, mind, and spirit to a point of forward motion. Very simply, it is this:

* Even in the worst of times, I must remember that I am still breathing.
* If I am still breathing, that means that I am still here.
* If I am still here, that means that I have not completed what I was put here to do.
* If I have not completed what I was put here to do, that means that my very purpose has not been fulfilled.
* If my very purpose has not been fulfilled, that means that the most important part of my life has yet to be lived.
* If the most important part of my life has yet to be lived, then it doesn’t really matter how old I am or how broke I am, how long I’ve tried or how depressed I might be … Here, at last, is proof that the best part of my life is ahead of me! Without a doubt, there is more laughter to come, more success in my future, more children to teach, more friends to influence. There is more.

There is more … and the promise is proven by the simple fact that I am still breathing. I am still here.

for this perspective, for this hope, and for the generosity of Andy Andrews for posting it, and my ability to receive it, I am thankful.